I want to be kind. I mean… I am kind, for the most part, but I get angry, get shirty with people, definitely cuss people out in traffic. They can’t hear me cuss them out, I only use my horn if it’s a safety issue, but i DO cuss them out. I’m certain that doesn’t count as nice or kind. Kindness is magic. So i’m working on that.
I want to be a good mother who helps her kids become functional, happy adults, and i want to be a good wife who helps her husband find happiness in this stressful world. I want to be a good teen librarian who provides books and programming that make a positive difference in the lives of the teens i serve. I want to find some success as a writer and an artist. I want to be the kind of friend that people want to spend time with. i want to be healthy and fit.
Obviously i have a certain level of success at some of these things but i’m working on improving in all of them. It’s all a struggle but hopefully worth it. I guess we’re all works in progress until we’re dead but wouldn’t it be nice to hit a comfortable plateau? (sorry for the random capitalization, my keyboard is having some issues.)
I’m lying in bed at 11am feeling fairly awful. I felt ok when I woke up, had tea and toast, hung out with my hubby for a bit, now I’m headachey and kind of nauseated. UGH. Not what I wanted today.
Spent all yesterday visiting with my husband’s cousins at/around one of their weddings. It was a cute ceremony, a nice reception, and a long day. I am utterly wrung out and I really need to be getting things done today. 😦 At least I don’t have to drag myself to work tonight and can just rest.
In keeping with my NEED to keep moving forward on my little art studio I pushed myself to cram the 8 broken chairs from the shed into my car and take them to the transfer station. They only charged me $10 for all of them! I also pushed this poor, tired, achey body of mine to cut down the staghorn summac and pricker bushes that have taken over the front yard. I got a lot done… at a cost. ha ha
about 100 scratches from the thorns. A pile of vanquished vegetationA flower garden ALMOST free of summac and pricker bushes.
I’m beat now, of course, and now I may need to go and drink beer at our new local watering hole.
I’m physically falling apart and mentally starting on an upswing. It’s actually super weird because I feel like I can tackle anything, in my head, but my body does Not agree. Usually my head is the one dragging me down, telling me I can’t do something, and I’ll feel physically confident even though I am a huge klutz with limited skills.
I’ve been quite tired for a bit now and achey. I keep getting minor injuries, bruises and that, from crashing into things, (klutz) or stumbling, or the other day when either my IBS was acting up or I had food poisoning. Yeah, I seem to have lightly pulled a muscle in my back … from puking. LOVELY. I keep turning my ankles stumbling just enough to keep them achey. It’s ridiculous.
Meanwhile, I’m busy cleaning, decluttering, working on fun projects for work and for myself. One project is I’m knitting house scarves (Harry Potter reference) for the teens at the library. When I show Sorcerer’s Stone in December I’m going to have puzzles the teens can complete to enter a drawing for the house scarf of their choice. I really hope I can get all 4 done in time. I’m only halfway through the Griffindor scarf at the moment.
I’ve also been reading more, trying new recipes, getting ahead scheduling events at work, managing my time better and saying NO to things I don’t have time for or don’t want to do. I’ve also been working on enlisting the kids to do more around the house. There’s just so much and they need to develop the skills for when they’re on their own. (whatever they may believe about me exploiting their labor)
Before I pop off, here’s a book recommendation: Hollow Kingdom; by Kira Jane Buxton. It’s insane, funny, touching, heartbreaking, filled with expletives and still reverent. I don’t want to give anything away. It’s Wonderful.
The Teen Advisory Board is growing. When I started last December there were 4 or 5 members it has grown to 9. They are talking about programs they’d like to run; a Ukulele club, an LGBT support group, etc. It’s very exciting to see them realizing that they have the power to steer Y.A. programming at the library.
I just had 12 kids show up for an Interactive Graphic Novel workshop this past weekend. Not the most I’ve ever had show up to something but a very encouraging number for our small, rural library. I think we had 9 show up for the Sumobots workshop last month which is a good number as well. My Bullet Journal workshop only had 2 teens but they were enthusiastic.
Next month I am having a Breakfast Cereal & Cartoons Saturday Morning slothfest, and December will have a Harry Potter theme featuring an ornament making workshop and a showing of “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone” with butterbeer, puzzles and prizes. In January 2020 I will be starting a year of monthly fairy tale movies in keeping with next summer’s theme and I will be starting “Book Boot Camp” a book club of monthly shifting genre’ to get readers out of their comfort zones. Laser Tag at the Library is also on the table but we need to check the equipment first to make sure it still works. I am feverishly working on all things fairy tale for next summer and hope to offer some amazing workshops for the local teens & tweens.
I’ve never had a job like this before. It’s so interesting and exciting planning and bringing off programming for this age group. (11-18) I feel so lucky to have this job, to have a supportive and wonderful boss and coworkers who are helpful and encouraging. It is impossible for me to leave work at work, I find myself thinking up ideas for programs and “quickly looking up one thing” for work that turns into me designing posters and brochures for a couple of hours. When I can finally use my studio I’m definitely going to have a space for working on programs and planning events for the library.
After a long time of feeling like no progress was being made in almost any areas of my life I am making some headway, however small, in more than one area.
Decluttering: In the past few weeks I have filled up the trunk of my car twice and dropped everything off at the Survival Center. Several bags of clothes, a few boxes of books, some household goods, and loads of CDs, DVDs, and video games are all gone. I’ve also been making an effort to put some items away that had been left in awkward places for MONTHS. Moving some of the things I will use for my studio to the shed has helped too. The house is feeling less out of control and more livable. I’m getting somewhere!
Meal Planning: Officially back on track after mucking it up for a while. It’s been 2 solid weeks now that I have planned everything out and I’m doing well. I even turned down an invitation to go out tonight for someone’s birthday because it would muck up the schedule and becauseI hate biggish plans last minute. I like small invites like let’s go get coffee/tea, are you free? But Dinner and movie on a Tuesday? The movie theater they are going to is over an hour from our house and the movie wouldn’t be getting out till after 10:00. My husband has classwork and we need to be here to make sure the kids do their homework too. I don’t know these folk’s exact schedules but I am willing to bet they don’t have to be up at 6 am tomorrow. I initially thought they meant this weekend some time. Spontaneity seems fun but I don’t have that kind of freedom.
Work: I am getting near to having things planned out three months in advance as my boss requested! Once I nail down a couple of dates for events and get some flyers made I will be right where I want to be and will just have to keep up planning for that 3rd month in the future as I go. Awesome. I am also about halfway through with pulling together my plans for next summer’s Summer Reading Program. I am starting to feel less overwhelmed and under-qualified. ^_^
My Son: His therapist reports progress is being made! He is less depressed and some of his other issues are lessening in intensity and he is feeling better. He reports he is doing well keeping up with school work and doing well socially! BAM! ^_^ That is awesome.
There are loads of areas that are still pretty much sucking but I am just going to be happy about all this progress right now. Things are good. Things are good!
Got an email at last. Someone is coming tomorrow to assess what will be needed to put the new windows in the shed and make a plan to move forward on the things I can afford to get done now. Yay! All the traps I put out have only caught one mouse so far. I am beyond shocked and will keep a watch on the situation. My guess is that the little buggers are crafty AF and that there are loads of them.
Been working on cleaning and decluttering lately. So much to do. Actually, my trunk is full and I should stop writing and go drop off a load of stuff at the Survival Center.
Have I bitched about my food allergies yet? UGH. I am allergic to many things, which I may have already mentioned, but now I am allergic to something or somethings new and I don’t know what. It is so frustrating planning every meal around this list, being so damn careful, and then reacting to something anyway. I’ve been having a reaction since Saturday and I am so freaking over it. *SIGH* At least Benedryl means I sleep pretty well.
I have to be at my place of work every day this week. I’m working tonight, tomorrow night, have a 1 hour staff meeting Wednesday morning, a 2 hour training Thursday, work Friday night and all day Saturday. I know, I’m lucky, I work part time not full time, but I’m still responsible for getting the kids to and from school every day, making sure dinner is on the table even when I’m not here to eat it, and doing most of the housework. The logistics of this week are nuts. I think I also have my handyperson coming to start working on the shed.
I won’t be here for dinner 4 nights out of 5 this week so I had to scramble to make plans for 4 dinners I can make ahead and implore the gods my kids will remember to put in the oven. Tonight will be vagabond packets, tomorrow I told my husband they can make sandwiches as I got the nice sandwich rolls, deli meat etc, Thursday will be seafood casserole, Friday Lasagna and I’ll be here to cook Wednesday and hopefully my husband will BBQ on Saturday since I’ll be coming through the door right at dinner time. Sometimes I really feel like having to cook for everyone all the time is some kind of tyranny imposed on me. I like cooking, it’s just trying to come up with meals, especially ones that have to be in a slow-cooker or can just be popped in the oven by someone else, is such a thankless task. I’ve had so many slow-cooker cookbooks, and searched for so many recipes online for casseroles, for slow-cooker recipes, etc. and there are millions of recipes out there but a lot of them are awful or variations on each other.
I keep the above list in my Bullet Journal and use it every week to try to plan our dinners. Some of the ideas refer to specific recipes and some are sort of just a theme. Soup and salad could be any of several homemade soups I like to make and any sort of salad, for instance, or tacos and rice could be any kind of meat, veg, cheese, & tortillas, chips, guac. etc. My method is simple, I look at my schedule and see how many dinners I will not be home for and then I pick that many meals I can more-or-less make ahead, fill in the gaps with whatever meals I want to make for the other nights and then make a shopping list based on whatever I’ll need that isn’t on hand already. What I’ll actually purchase is based on the list but gets adjusted to take advantage of any great sales I find at the grocery store. I might have planned to make turkey burritos but if ground beef is cheaper that week, or ground pork etc, I adjust.
I spend $70-$140 week on groceries for 5 of us depending on a few factors. (that figure includes pet food, paper goods, food wrap, and toiletries) I do not consider the amount I spend to be very low, it is less than most people I know spend and I know where I can make changes to spend less when I need to. If you are spending more than you’d like to and want to trim your food budget there is a good chance that you can. There are a few things I do that help me save significantly on food that you can try out or adapt to your needs.
#1. I think the most important thing I do to keep food expenses under control is maintaining a well-stocked pantry. My pantry consists of a decent sized double cupboard in the kitchen and a set of cupboards in my laundry room, I’m not sure what the cubic footage is but I’ll check soon and report back if anyone is interested. (drop a comment to let me know if you feel like it.) My pantry contains many things:
Baking Supplies: flour, sugar, baking powder & baking soda, brown sugar, molasses, honey, chocolate chips, vanilla, etc etc. (I keep lots of flour sealed up in the freezer too to prevent bugs when storing longer term)
Canned goods: Vegetables, tuna, all kinds of beans including baked beans and refried beans, as well as the plain kinds, pre-made soups and pasta in sauce, (for casseroles and power outages etc)
Boxes of pasta. I have a LOT of pasta. Upwards of 40 lbs. most or the time. Plus 10-20 boxes of mac & cheese and 50+ ramen noodle packets.
Jars of pasta sauce. I usually have 20-30 on hand.
Condiments and salad dressings. I keep 5+ ketchup, mustard, mayo, pickles, hot sauce, siracha, green salsa, red salsa, soy sauce, shelf-stable dressings, etc, etc.
Quick sides like instant potato packets, or packets of broccoli-cheese pasta that I can whip up easy for myself if I feel unwell or use with other ingredients to make an easy side casserole to go with dinner if I’m strapped for time, unwell, or suddenly have more folks at my table.
Tea and coffee. I have an entire shelf taken up with various teas, most cheap, some a little special. I like to have something that might appeal to anyone who stops by. I have coffee for my daughter and for guests it’s plain because I know nothing about coffee.
Cereals both hot and cold. I keep oats for cooking and various oatmeals for my daughter who likes it. I keep 1-4 boxes of cold cereal on hand mostly slightly healthier seeming stuff, no bright colors, no marshmallows, etc.
Peanut butter and jams/jellies. I keep around 3-12 jars of PB around at all times for sandwiches, snacking, and sauces. I keep a few jars of jam/jelly around in various flavors for sandwiches, baking, etc.
A mad assortment of spices bought in bulk, given to me by people moving, harvested, dried & jarred by me, or grabbed relatively cheaply at Trader Joe’s.
All that stuff up above? I buy a LOT of whenever it’s on an excellent sale. I almost never find myself forced to pay 4+ dollars for mayo because whenever it hits $2-$3 I stock up. I get my ketchup for $2/bottle at Trader Joe’s because that is very cheap for ketchup without high fructose corn syrup. Pasta I grab at $1 or less per pound, Pasta sauce when it hits $1/quart, etc.
#2 Making use of my freezer. Right behind the pantry in importance is my freezer, or freezers. I have the typical top-of-the-fridge and a medium chest freezer. I keep various types of foods in my freezer to save money.
Meat. I stock up when anything is super cheap and repackage bulk packs into portions that match the amounts I typically cook with. Ground beef, chicken, kielbasa, bacon, etc.
Frozen veggies. Mostly broccoli and sliced bell peppers, sometimes cauliflower and other things. I stock up when these hit $1/10 oz package and use when fresh is unavailable/too expensive.
Butter. I buy butter for $3/lb or less. (Only making exceptions at the holidays if I have managed to run out.) I keep 5-10 lbs on hand if I can.
Flour. I keep most of my flour, sealed up in layered bags, in the freezer. Flour can get moths in the cupboard and I hate to waste it. I buy when it’s super cheap and use it for AGES. I keep 20+ lbs around and buy when it’s .20-.40 cents/lb.
Rice. It can get buggy just like flour so the rice lives in the freezer. I keep 30+lbs on hand and buy it when it’s on sale. Prices vary wildly depending on the type of rice.
#3 Farmshare. You may or may not have this option in your area. We are part of a CSA: Community Supported Agriculture, where we pay a local farmer a certain amount in the spring and then stop by the farm weekly to get a share of the produce. Currently our farm share costs $650 and we get 8-9 items per week, June – November. (PLUS “field items.”) To give you an idea of what you might get here is this week’s share: (which I chose from among the available options) 2 lbs potatoes, 4 heads of lettuce, 4 lbs red peppers, 6 leeks, 2 acorn squash, 2 lbs onions, several hot peppers, approx. 5 lbs tomatillos, fresh flowers, fresh herbs: cilantro, thyme, oregano, basil. … I think that’s it for this week. Our farmshare only goes for 6 out of 12 months but it keeps us in winter squash, garlic and a few other things through to spring.
#4, (and lastly for now as I need to pre-make dinner and get myself ready for work) Meal Planning. I do what I outlined above. Check my schedule, pick our dinners, make a list based on what isn’t already in the house, and make adjustments based on killer sale prices. I used to use the weekly flyers from the grocery stores to plan meals around sales but have found my current method to be slightly more effective/less stressful. Meal planning saves us money in more than 1 way. First it takes advantage of the pantry & freezer & second it almost always keeps us from resorting to ordering pizza or grabbing meals out. If there is a plan in place, barring accidents, emergencies or migraines, I fit it into my schedule and it is pretty stress free.
That’s pretty much it. If you start keeping a pantry or stocking your freezer just ROTATE the food, meaning: put the NEW stuff in the back/bottom and pull the Older stuff to the front. Use your pantry don’t just leave it sit. Take the older stuff at the front to prepare your meals and add the new stuff to the back as you go and you should do alright.