Overwhelm is a sneaky beast. Since we started quarantining I’ve posted about stress, shortcomings, feeling like certain things were overwhelming me and starting to get to me but just last night and this morning I hit a real, solid wall. A heart-racing, head-pounding, impatient about everything, just not coping, stressed out, just Done feeling. I just had/have nothing left. So, I’m taking a step back, I’m taking a breath, and I’m taking time for me to actually try to relax and not just sort of fuck off and kill time. I need a schedule that will let me breathe, let me be off the hook for work a LOT. I only work part time, how is that creeping into every waking moment of my life? I need to destress. So I’m going to make some changes:

• I’m going to work 4 hours a day, 3 days a week instead of averaging 2 or so hours a day on week days and odds and ends all weekend.
• Part of that will mean I work 4 hours every other Saturday and pick 2-3 week days to work and let it go the rest of the time.
• I am going to schedule my meals, breakfast and lunch and I’m going to drink more water.
• I am going to schedule time to be outside, get some sun and fresh air, daily if possible.
• I am giving myself a reading hour with a book, some herbal tea, and quiet.
• I’m upping my fruit and veg intake.
• I’ve already cut my caffeine intake in half. (from 2 cups to 1 cup/day)
• Once I feel less stressed I’m going to work on scheduling family activities again. Having those on the regular would be great for all of us.
• I’ve just started following the BUJO Journal along on Instagram and I’m going to continue that because I think it’s helping.
• I may take naps, like we did in kindergarten, even if I don’t sleep during them.
• I’m going to take the time to appreciate and acknowledge all that I am so lucky to have. I may journal about that here in segments that make sense to me, probably only to me. LOL

We’ll see how this goes. I need to find a way to stick with it, or stick with whatever I can find that works, I’m bad at sticking with schedules. I’m a free-spirit and I like my flexible, chaotic whimsy but that non-system approach to life has broken down under the strain of the pandemic. Time to try something new.