New Year’s Eve

So, I haven’t posted in over 2 weeks. I guess I got busy between work, holiday prep, and life in general. HI! I’m back.

I had a nice holiday. Our feast was good, presents were well received by all, I got some books and things I really wanted, including a new tea kettle of better quality. My old one peeled and cut me! Apparently it was covered in some sort of metal or metalish facade. Sliced my thumb open when it peeled back with regular use. Oh, and I got some of my favorite, fairly expensive, tea so mornings are more yummy now. We all played my son’s new game, Red Flags, a hilarious card game where you try to set your friends up with the perfect date while other players sabotage things by playing what they hope will be deal breakers. So, I put out 2 cards: “Looks just like Scarlett Johannsen” and “Gives the world’s best back rubs” and then someone plays something hideous on it like; “amateur cannibal” on it, or, “constantly trying to kill you.” We played with 4 people, so 3 of us made up someone for the person to date and then tried to ruin the dates others made. Then we argued for our date, despite the red flag, and tried to get them to pick ours over the others. So much fun and a little disturbing.

The terrible storm has been and gone. We had rain, snow, sleet, freezing rain, hail, thunder and lightening. It was pretty insane. But we got through it just fine. We stocked the house and the porch with wood and got a few perishable foods to top off the pantry. We were ready for a power outage but lucked out and didn’t get one. We spent the day watching The Witcher on Netflix, reading, cooking, eating etc. The library closed early so my boss told me not to come in. We did have to get my daughter from the train at about 11:30 pm and the roads were pretty bad. We were ok though and my daughter is home from her big trip to NYC safe and sound.

My daily life is fairly satisfying right now. I get up, put wood on the stove, put the kettle on for tea, feed the cats, do some dishes, start some laundry, hang some laundry, bring in some wood, make the tea and head upstairs to wake my hubby. I’m on top of most things at my job now too so that keeps my stress level… level. Oh, and the making my own laundry soap thing is a HUGE SUCCESS. The stuff is amazing. The clothes smell clean, just lovely and clean, not perfumey. They almost smell like they were dried outside which is awesome. I think I’m hooked and will be making my own from now on. It’s so easy.

I have so many things I want to learn, make, do. Lip balm is a success so now I want to try making lotion. I’ve been making some cool tea blends and I want to make more. I can hardly wait for summer so I can harvest some wild ingredients and grow some of my own. Oh and I hope to be able to garden without killing stuff and also get a nice yield. I am so bad at gardening. I need to take a class or something. I want to make soap, candles, learn to use a Chinese steamer, learn to weave baskets, etc etc. My son and I want to get all set up to make terrain for gaming too. There’s just so much. Since I don’t know how to weave baskets I watched a tutorial on crocheting baskets and made one of my own. I modified an existing pattern to make one with a handle and a cover.

I’m pleased with it and I used one of the buttons from my late Gramma’s stash. ^_^

Well, much to do, so I’ll leave you here. Tomorrow I will make a post for a bright, new year full of endless possibility. Be well.

Holiday Budgeting

I grew up pretty well off. My father had a good education and a government job. We owned our own house and my parents had 2 cars. My mom stayed at home and we had an above ground pool with a deck. I never went hungry because of a lack of food. My parents were able to do things like buy a little sailboat and afford lessons now and again for my sisters and I. I know we were not rich by any stretch. My parents extensive skills and frugality played a big part in our being able to live the way we did. My father did all the carpentry, plumbing, and wiring in our house. He fixed our cars, scraped and painted the siding, installed the pool, built the deck etc. My mother cooked our meals largely from scratch, sewed and repaired our clothes, knit our scarves and mittens, tended our vegetable garden etc.

When I grew up and left home I was side-swiped by life. I had no idea what I was doing and hadn’t been taught anything by my parents. I didn’t know how to cook, or use a washing machine, or a dishwasher, I didn’t know how to manage money. I worked for minimum wage as did my boyfriends and later my first husband. I went from having no worries to having nothing but. I spent over 15 years of my adult life living in various levels of poverty. I had 2 kids in my first marriage. I was married for about 6 years before I left with a 3 year old and 6 week old. We never rose above poverty and when I left I was on welfare and such for 2 years. By the time I was on my own I knew how to cook but I still didn’t know how to manage money well because my first husband refused to give me access to any. I had thought about it a lot though and I figured out how to keep things level on my tiny budget. The first year on my own was something of a shock.

I don’t know if I’ve said before but I spent my first marriage in what is sometimes called a “high control group” or what normal people call a cult. It’s a friendly neighborhood cult that I am sure you’ve run into. Maybe it works for some people, don’t know and don’t care, for me it became a kind of prison. The cult gave my first husband permission to be in charge of me and that was an ugly look on him. Eventually I found a way to leave but it was difficult and involved lying about money and a secret bank account. (for fleeing money) That’s it’s own story. I want to talk about the holidays and a lack of money.

I left my first marriage on November 1st 1996 and got into a subsidized apartment 21 days later. My welfare hadn’t come through yet, it was terrifying, but I had WIC and food stamps and my fleeing money which wasn’t much. So it was very near to Christmas and it was my kid’s first Christmas, both of them, as the cult forbids the celebration of any holidays. I was feeling so, so bad that I couldn’t do almost anything for my kids. The 3 year old was finally getting exposed to the celebration, the excitement etc, and I couldn’t even put up a tree. I didn’t have a single string of lights, or a holiday dishtowel or anything. No worries, we’d have xmas day at my mothers and her house looked like Santa decorated it himself. I spent $50 on each of my sweet babies, all I dared to. They each had 3 toys from their mom. It felt small and sad to me, I’d grown up in a fair blizzard of presents between my parents and grandparents. It was fine really, my mom and other family members and some friends all got things for the kids and the 3 year old was thrilled with everything.

So, after that first, kind of sudden holiday, I told myself next year would be very different. Our apartment would be decorated, we would have a tree and all that stuff. The kids could wake up xmas morning and come downstairs and see presents and have that morning in their PJs. I had a plan. My Christmas shopping for 1997 started in January. I knew what my income would be for the year, very low, so I knew what I could spend. My friends had given me ornaments for xmas 1996 so I had a few to get me started. I shopped the after xmas sales. Craft shops like Joann’s and Michael’s heavily discount holiday decorations and craft bits after the holidays pass. 50%, 75%, I’ve seen 90% on some things. I picked and I chose and price was very much an issue. I got holiday craft items I could use to make presents for friends and family too. In all I spent under $25 but I had decorations for my future tree, dishtowels, pot holders, a few wall decorations etc. The rest of the year I shopped in thrift and junk shops, tag sales etc. and I picked up toys, books and other gifts for my kids. By December I had plenty for them.

That’s how I did things for years. I kept my eyes open for great deals all year long and kept my finds hidden away. I also kept grandparents in the loop for things the kids needed that I couldn’t fit in the budget or didn’t have the luck to find in the right size on the secondhand market. My mom bought snow pants, boots, sleds, and brand new toys that hadn’t made it to secondhand stores yet. I was lucky to have friends and family who could afford some of the things I couldn’t but I recommend my general method to folks who are struggling with the expense of the holidays. My Decembers were no more expensive than any other month back then. I wasn’t taught how to manage money or run a household but I did have my parent’s examples to look back on and I figured it out. I’m not saying that anyone, anywhere can replicate what I did, but I think the strategy can HELP…. like for next year because the holidays are right on top of us now.

I’m at a point now where I can spend some money on the holidays. It was an uphill battle getting here and it took a long time. I still buy lots of used gifts for my kids, my husband, family and friends. I still make a lot of gifts too! I knit scarves, make mittens, lip balm, etc. I still shop the after holiday sales in case there is something I stumble across that would help me make great gifts for the next year. I’ve taught my (grown and nearly grown) kids to bargain shop and make presents when they can. My son makes paintings for gifts sometimes, one of my daughters usually paints miniature figures, bought cheap, for everyone. (We’re all gamers)

That’s the quick and dirty version of my advice or whatever. I have a lot to say about the whole idea of making holidays non-stressful and inexpensive and everyday survival budgeting. I know my idea don’t work for every situation, I know they aren’t magic, I just know they can help some people so I want to share.

Events, Food, Etc.

Bad news: I’m ill. Good news: I finished the house scarves for Saturday’s Harry Potter party at the Library. ^_^ I’m really looking forward to it. The Festivities:

  • Watching Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone
  • Drinking home-made Butterbeer
  • Doing word-jumbles, word-searches, and Crossword puzzles
  • 4 teens winning a house scarf by random drawing!
  • Happy Holidays, Teens! ^_^

My ornament workshop was cancelled due to snow so it’s the only thing on this month, pretty much.

In other news I stumbled across a book and then 3 videos by my high school art teacher. I was just browsing the gardening section and found her book on foraging and wild foods. I checked to see if there was anything else by her and found we had 3 videos in our library! It’s lovely watching her after so many years and her recipes look delicious so I will be trying them out in the Spring. I took a class on wild foods a few years ago but these videos seem more comprehensive and being able to watch the foods being harvested and processed it helpful too.

We got our latest credit card bill and it is, as is somewhat usual this time of year, High. Ugh. It’s so hard to stick to a budget when buying gift for people I love. I want to do so much and sometimes I do too much. So I am now clamping down on spending to make up for this extravagance. I only have a couple more things to get and holiday shopping will be done. That leaves the feast shopping and some of that has been done already so we should be good. When I clamp down on spending I rely on my pantry more than usual. I lean on my supplies of pasta, rice, and dried beans etc. I cut back on using meat and focus on using up winter squashes and whatever else is on hand. I recently found that I can make a killer mac & cheese with about 1/2 the cheese by adding in mashed winter squash. My husband LOVED it. I added a few new spices to it too. My son wasn’t as big a fan of it but he needs to eat more veg anyway… and he did eat it. I’ll dig down in the freezer too and use any meat we have on hand. Casseroles will make more of an appearance too as I go through all the frozen veg, pasta and so on.

I’ve been working on not wasting food anyway. It’s such a problem and it’s ridiculous with the prices we pay for the stuff that any should be wasted. I’m thinking of putting together a big entry on eliminating food waste sometime soon.

Gummi Lives Were Lost…

The 17 & 23 year olds and I attempted to assemble a sweet little gingerbread village the other night. I had a vision in my head of these adorable little houses covered in candy with a peaceful clan of gummi bears abiding in peace and joy. … but it was not to be.

As you can see it started promisingly enough with a few, structurally sound, buildings but before long the rot set in. Nothing was up to code. When the church collapsed paranoia reigned, the architect was found murdered and the witch burnings began. The remaining villagers tried to shore up their sagging walls with candy canes and prayed for a mild winter. The whole area was declared a gingerbread disaster area but aid is slow in coming. The nights are long and cold and the wine has run out.

So, yes, I let my 17 year old’s macabre sense of humor have a place even in what I imagined would be a wholesome activity. When everything started breaking and sagging he came up with this whole scenario. The 23 year old had her bears, who are apparently disaster preppers, pull back to the family home, post guards, set watches and start rationing food. I think it was me who suggested the town would start turning on the wise women and healers. We had a lot of fun and couldn’t stop laughing. My husband thinks we’re all crazy. ^_^

Hearth & Home

I woke up at 5 am and, even though it was plenty warm in the bedroom, I felt like I should head downstairs early and check the wood stove. It is cold out there this morning, currently 2 degrees, and there’s almost no wood left on the rack we keep on the porch. The kids were supposed to fill it 2 days ago but since the big snowfall there’s been a mound of snow at the end of the driveway, between the house and the wood shed. Our snow blower is inconveniently out of commission due to yet another mouse nest so the path through the snow mound is slim and was made by my walking the dog. You would think I asked the 17 and 23 year olds to cross the Alps to get fire wood. Sheesh. I got the fire going but there isn’t much wood up here for it. I can feel the cold pushing through the walls still so I will be letting the kids know that TODAY they get to fill the wood rack when it’s a nice toasty, I’m guessing, 10 degrees out later!

The laundry detergent experiment was successful! It’s so easy and cheap to make and it doesn’t leave heavy perfume on the laundry, it smells clean, it almost smells like it was dried outside. I’m completely thrilled with it and plan to continue making it. I started out by making my own washing soda. I poured 4 lbs of super cheap baking soda onto a very large baking tray and baked it in a 400 degree oven for an hour. Voila! Washing soda. (about 6 or 7 Cups of it) From there, to make the detergent all you have to do is mix a ratio of 1 Cup washing soda, 1 Cup Borax, (available in the laundry aisle in the grocery store) and 1/2-1 Cup of grated bar soap, any kind, I used Trader Joe’s Honey & Oatmeal soap. For 2 large canning jars of detergent I used about 4 Cups each of washing soda and Borax and 2 Cups of grated bar soap. Each load takes 1/4 Cup detergent and I always put it in before the adding the clothes to the washer. My total cost was about $5.07 total for the two 1 quart jars below. I’m estimating I’ll be able to wash about 40 loads or so with this. I am positive there are cheaper detergents out there but, because this was an experiment, I didn’t bargain hunt at all. I got the baking soda and Borax at the same store and used a bar of soap I already had on hand. I think if I comparison shopped I could bring down the cost somewhat

Left: Baking soda after baking = washing soda, and a plate of grated bar soap. Right: the finished laundry detergent.

My husband is deep in his final project for his degree. Only 1 1/2 weeks left to go and we’ll get to spend time with him again. It has been a long 6 years! He spent all day on it yesterday while I tended the fire, ran errands, ferried kids, baked bread, made meals, finished the knitting on the last scarf for next weekend, and did laundry and mounds and mounds of dishes. There weren’t mounds of dishes festering in the sink, to be clear, I was just cooking all day so there were multiple rounds of dishes. I am in no way so organized and motivated that mounds of dishes festering in the sink doesn’t happen, it just didn’t happen Yesterday. I have long considered myself an indifferent housekeeper. I’m a good cook, I clean daily… to some extent, but I tolerate a level of mess, dust, and dirt that puts all my friends at ease when they come over. I imagine they think: “Oh, she really DOESN’T judge my housekeeping!” Yeah, I don’t. My gods, why would I? If someone’s house is comfortable, livable, then it’s fine. Dust, cobwebs in the corners, a laundry pile, and dishes in the sink are par for the course. If your place is messier than that I assume you’re planning on catching up with it soonish, maybe you’ve been working more, or are a little under the weather or depressed/stressed, etc. We’ve all been there, usually pretty regularly, and the women that don’t go there? I know they exist, their homes always seem spotless and perfect, I assume those chicks are hiding something. (probably bodies in the basement)

Keeping busy and learning new skills seems to be good for my mental health. I’m noticing a more positive outlook blooming here behind my eyes. The idea that there is a lot to do isn’t as scary when I’m busy and actually ticking lots of things off the list. Also, life doesn’t feel so overwhelming when I’m successfully learning to do new things. Even unsuccessful experiments give me a little boost. I tend to laugh at myself or at the sub-par outcomes because my experiments are cheap and usually instantly repeatable. I just re-read instructions or search for alternate instructions and try again. It builds my confidence to overcome little setbacks and it makes me really happy when I succeed in making something that seemed unmakeable to me previously… like lip balm! I’ve been paying over $3 each for little tubes of it and now I can make tins twice the size for pennies. I can make any flavor I want and it’s ridiculously easy. I feel like an alchemist. I may start wearing robes and carrying a staff or something.

Of course what I’d really like to be is a Druid. My dream is to live in an amazing little permaculture forest garden with lots of animals and I can grow and forage all our food and make most anything we need, like clothes, furniture, and such. I have been a frustrated Druid for my entire life. I need to take like gardening classes or something. Do they have those? I’ve been trying to keep a few herbs alive indoors. They are… struggling. They are still alive though so I think it counts.

Killing Stress with New Skills

Life is hard. It just is. So fucking hard. My house is like some kind of stress factory and I spend so much time doing emotional work for others that I am tired All The Time. Things tend to feel stagnant, like no progress is being made, especially re. the kids. Eldest is still working part time for minimum wage although her hours are up because of holiday busyness. Youngest is in 11th grade and muddling along doing as little as he can get away with doing but he is finding some joy there, some interest, the future remains a Giant Ball of Dread to him though. Middlest is going along at community college with a 3/4 schedule + work-study. She’s seen one paycheck so far and it covered less than 1/10th of he tuition, books and art supplies, hopefully there will be a flurry of checks SOON. Husband is in his last semester for his latest degree and is fully stressing out. He has 8 days to write a 25 page paper and he has a few paragraphs so far. I think panic is about to set in. His job is also driving him full-on Crazy right now with a huge and scary server migration + the replacement of all copiers and printers etc etc. He’s supposed to be focusing on these VERY IMPORTANT trainings on the new server stuff so he can, you know, DO his job, but gets interrupted every 1-2 minutes by people with piddly little problems they want fixed “now.” His assistant is trying very hard to keep people away from him but he’s still getting over 25 emails per hour all day long.

Yeah, so stressful is the word. Slow progress for kids, too much on husband’s plate, we’re all border-lining on illness most of the time now. My headaches are getting worse, I assume it’s stress. I am trying to make home a sanctuary from all the madness by continuing to declutter, getting nice meals on the table daily, keeping healthy snacks on hand as well as cocoa, wine and beer, and of course I am always cleaning, keeping the fire going and so on. I’m finding my peace in learning new skills and trying new things. I watch Li Ziqi on YouTube because everything she does is both relaxing to watch and completely inspiring. I’ll be watching while I knit and my husband will glance up to see her using hand tools to just flat out make something out of trees she cut down or something and he’ll ask: “what’s she making? I seriously wouldn’t be surprised if it turned out to be a working helicopter made from scrap metal and bamboo.” All I can say is; “Right????” Some of her stuff has no English translation to it at all so I watch the whole video completely confused by what veggies she’s cooking but in the end I want to eat it all, anyway even with all my allergies, because her cooking looks so amazing I swear I can almost smell it. Here’s a link to her channel if you’re interested: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCoC47do520os_4DBMEFGg4A

So, new skills I’ve been working on:

  • Learning to dry fruits and veggies. So far: oranges, apples, cranberries and hot peppers.
  • Darning socks, I haven’t got this figured out yet, it doesn’t look all that hard but it turns out to be tricky.
  • Making my own lip-balm. SO EASY! Plus I get custom flavors and simple ingredients.
  • Making my own laundry detergent, yeah, I’m doing this right now as I type. I’ve got baking soda cooking away at 400 degrees to turn it into washing soda and then I grate up some soap, mix everything together with Borax and apparently That’s IT.

There are loads of skills I want to learn that will keep me busy… probably the rest of my life if I’m honest. I want to learn to garden, to grow my own food and herbs, I want to learn to make clothes that look good, presentable, tailored I guess, that are well-made and will last. I want to learn to build things, whatever I need really, like shelves, or raised garden beds, or wooden furniture. I want to learn languages, so many, so, so many, I can’t even choose where to start. I also like to learn to make pretty much all household cleaners and such-like things. It’s stunning how much we pay for stuff like that and it’s made out of pretty simple stuff for the most part. I’m sure I’ll let you know how my experiments go.

Snow Day!

By happy surprise my kids and I have all been granted the day off due to the weather. We got up and shoveled, they will rake the porch roof and kitchen roof later and re-shovel the walkways for me. It’s been a fine day so far, the snow is beautiful, the wood stove is humming along, and we are warm and snug inside for now. My Sweet husband had to go into work because his bosses never see fit, even under perfect circumstances to do so, to call a snow day. If he was home life would be ideal today.

I am letting dough rise now for bread later on and I’m currently simmering simple syrup to reduce it by 1/2 so I can make dried, sweetened cranberries. My sourdough starter is still alive and yummy and I am shocked to my core over it. I haven’t had much luck with it in the past but this time seems to be going well. Tonight, since I’ll be home to cook, I’ll be making Swedish meatballs and mashed potatoes. Nice hearty fare for cold weather and the hard work of shoveling

Cranberries in progress.

So, it’s later now, I’ve been busy all day, been sticky and covered in flour, been out in the snow a little bit too. Dinner was yummy. Sourdough bread warm from the oven, Swedish meatballs, mashed potatoes, and a bit of beer. ^_^

Possibly the nicest looking loaves I’ve ever made.

The cranberries have been in and out of the oven all day as I used it to cook other things. They spent some time atop the wood stove too, we’ll see how they come out, they have hours to go yet. The snow continues to fall and will until around 4 am. My eldest is at work and will have to drive home in it on roads that are cooling and freezing as I type. I worry so much. (Be safe my little dove.)

We’ve got over a foot of snow so far and it is still falling.

Be safe, Everyone!

Welcome, December!

We’re officially ready for whatever the storm brings, or, as ready as we can be. Wood box and wood rack are full, got tons of kindling, put away the outdoor umbrella and wicker chair, packed the house with groceries and bedded down the plants as best we could. We already had candles and full bird feeders, oh and we got some sand for the walkway. We’ve plenty of cocoa and beer. There’s a merry little fire going in the woodstove ahead of even the first flakes. I got a nice fat book from the library and a few movies too.

I love winter. I love the cold and the beautiful snow, I love the dark, and the hush that comes when the snow falls. I love watching the birds at the feeders and the acrobatics of the squirrels. I’m not a fan of icy walkways and all that, I like unbroken bones. I wish we could hole up at home for weeks at a time. We’d read and game and drink cocoa and glogg.

So I’ll be reading Labyrinth of the Spirits; by Carlos Ruiz Zafon while my hubby plays Red, Dead Redemption and my younger 2 kids play some weird mashup of Firefly, Fallout and Skyrim, and my eldest daughter heads to work. (Be safe, Honey!!!) I hope the roads will stay nice until after she gets home. I’m supposed to run a Harry Potter ornament making workshop Monday but I could do with a snow day. We probably won’t get anything like that, the kids will go to school, my hubby and I will go to work. Ah well, it can’t all be skittles and beer.

No Turkey for Puddin’

It’s the morning after, the morning after Thanksgiving. I’m enjoying the relative peace as my son sleeps in the living room because his room is uninhabitable at the moment. The overwhelming stink of petfresh carpet deodorizer in there is so thick I fear vacuuming it once it’s dry. Yes, I gave the dog a little turkey for the holiday… NEVER AGAIN. I spent most of the morning yesterday trying to clean the carpet and the worst of the laundry. Of course my son had ignored/delayed/whatever dealing with the foot deep layer of laundry on his floor long enough for it to get caught in this disaster. Clean up has been hellish. My son tried to clean it on his own, called for help, and eventually bailed because he got ill. I know he feels bad about leaving it for me because he thanked me about 11 times for handling it. After cleaning all that I had to go to work and I have to go to work all day today so I won’t be able to vacuum and see how the floor is until tonight or tomorrow. Joy.

Thanksgiving was nice though. 8-10 hours of cooking over 2 days earned me at least 30 minutes of folks lingering around the table seriously enjoying their food. The turkey was amazing, broccoli casserole came out perfect, stuffing was awesome. My husband helped me in the kitchen all morning and did a bunch of dishes after while I drank most of a bottle of wine and put my feet up. Best husband, I win. ~_^ We listened to xmas music all day too, which I love, it was a good day.

Now I am going to drink my tea and read a bit before I shower and go to work. Have a beautiful weekend!

Holidays are Coming

2 days till Thanksgiving. 2 days until we are launched into the holiday season. I have a lot to do, of course, but I think it’s manageable. I’ll do some cooking and prep the night before and Thanksgiving day I’ll tackle the major cooking. I actually like it, spending the day in the kitchen with my son watching and rewatching Gordon’s video and telling me what to do next. I hate how fast dinner is over and all the cleaning but it’s still a nice day.

I’m almost done with the Yule/Xmas shopping. Just a few things to get and I can start wrapping and crafting. I’ll be making butterbeer lip balm and a few other things for stocking stuffers, no big projects on my radar so far. I just have to finish the Ravenclaw scarf and tassel the lot and I’ll be done crafting for the Harry Potter party at the library. I guess I still need to buy cream soda and all that for the butterbeer but that won’t take long. Easy. Doing some checking around for the last few items on my list today I found a CD of instrumental xmas music that is pretty cool. It’s super mellow and relaxing, I’m listening right now. https://www.awintersolstice.com/blank-q3t56 Here’s the album on YouTube in case any of you want to hear it: https://youtu.be/NCSAYm8QrRQ

I’ve been checking around for activities for the upcoming holiday season and there is a fair bit going on. There are some concerts, fairs, plays, etc that I hope to get to. I’ll miss some things due to work but the rest I just need to scrape myself up and GET TO.