Tag: spending

I have more questions… &… money stuff.

Here we are on what I can only assume, based on what it feels like, is day One Million of the apocalypse, and I find myself pondering in circles again. I have to go back to work soon and it’s already feeling way too “back to normal” for my lizard brain which is still informing me forcefully that the emergency is still going despite appearances. I am not ready, and much as I love my job, I don’t know if I ever really will be. On to some questions I can’t answer!

  1. When will it be safe for my daughters to go find jobs again? I cannot freaking imagine.
  2. Why am I so jumpy? I’ve barely seen anyone outside my little family in about.. 400 years (?) so how am I not calmer?
  3. How can I still not be finding time to play board games?
  4. How come a guy can come mow the lawn, pull some weeds and chop down a few bushes and somehow the yard is double the size it was?
  5. How did I get such an awesome husband? Seriously, he GETS me and still wants to hang out with me. Crazy.
  6. It isn’t 5:00 yet and the leftovers of a bottle of Pinot Grigio have me tipsy, since it’s the apocalypse this is 100% ok.. or no?
  7. What ale is best with breakfast? asking for a friend. (it’s me)
  8. How can I have this much anxiety???
  9. Why is my dog so stinky? I thought they cleaned themselves like cats, no?
  10. Why does my hippie fort calm me down so much? what the hell is up with that? I walk in and in minutes I’m a happier, calmer, way more relaxed version of me. I don’t get it. It’s like 30 yards from the house!
  11. What am I going to make for dinner tonight? Oh yeah? What about TOMORROW????? And repeat because this one never ever ends and I don’t know WTF to do anymore. *deep breath* I’ll think of something. I am shockingly resourceful.

Money: So, just before the pandemic hit our tenant told us she was pregnant and moving out. So, I think her last month was February and the apartment has been empty since then. We charge a fairly low rent for our area, made to seem even lower because it includes everything except phone, internet, cable and that. We cover heat, electricity, and hot water. The heat and hot water are oil/steam/whatever, but none of that has gone down without a tenant, really, and yet with us not going anywhere, or ordering food in much at all, we’re making slight but noticeable gains. (???) It’s weird. But then I mention it to my husband and he’s says we haven’t been spending $240/month on gas for the cars. What the hell? I never thought about how MUCH that added up to! We have cut back quite a bit on meals out, I’d say we’re at maybe 2Xs/month (delivered) down from 1 or 2 Xs/week at about $50-$100 each thoughtless time.

Shopping: I no longer shop extreme bargains as a matter of course. I don’t shop really at all, I have no number to add to this, but I will say that ordering online makes me more thoughtful, more deliberate. I feel anxious out in public and I think it makes me rush into decisions. That may mean I was more impulsive in spending, just wanting to get it over with to get back home. I am carefully curating lists for myself for things that will actually add value to my existence that I will need to shop for, find free or whatever once some level of safety from mad viruses returns. This pandemic has shown me that I can actually comfortably do a real shopping ban and I intend to do just that, I mean, I’m sort of already in one, mostly, anyway.

Yeah, so, I need to think about what kind of goal we might set, because not having one has just left us adrift doing what seems cool at the moment, and that is just Not Cool. If we don’t get clear about what it is that we want how can we ever get it? What are your goals? What are you working towards? What do you want out of life? Feel free to answer in the comments, I am also asking myself.

More & Less

I want to change my life. This isn’t about being fed up with staying home, disinfecting my groceries, never seeing people in person unless I live with them, etc. Hopefully things will get better in those ways if we can all just not make things worse for a while and amazing scientists can create a super good vaccine. I mean I want to change my day to day life, the way I live, the way I spend my time. I also would love to save money, because we have dreams, we want to travel and see the world someday… when people can do that sort of thing again.

See, I don’t think it’s possible to calculate how much time I’ve wasted watching T.V., playing solo video games, screwing around on the computer, and so forth. It’s an unknown quantity, but it’s BIG. Binge watching is my default. If one show is good 8 in a row is better. I’m not saying these activities are utterly without value, not at all, just… when they become too big for their britches, well, what do you end up with? What are you left with in the end? Nothing. And it’s worse than that because, if these activities take over, you’ve LOST something that can never be replaced: Time. Our lives are made of time but we can never make any more of it. I heard this somewhere recently but it’s escaping me now: “We can’t make time, we can only take time.” It is the most finite of resources and we sell it away so we can eat and be warm and safe and, crazily, we “kill” it, whiling away hours on top of hours in mindless or useless pursuits. And then we wonder, sadly, regretfully, why we don’t have time for important things.

Question 1 for myself: What do I want more of in my life?

  • Experiences
  • music
  • baking & cooking
  • time with my hubby to relax, unwind, and connect
  • time with the kids w/ real interaction and meaning
  • sharing of life skills with the kids
  • reading
  • art
  • writing
  • a neat, restful, peaceful home
  • better health
  • time in nature
  • laughter
  • time with friends
  • Connection/Community
  • fun!
  • Enthusiasm!
  • LIFE!!!!

Question 2 for myself: What do I need to cut out to get more of what I want in life?

  1. T.V. (or excessive TV, since a little bit is ok?)
  2. Mindlessly surfing the web, playing online games etc.
  3. video games, maybe can keep a litte? but seriously, fun as they are: what do I have when I’m done?
  4. Less time in my room alone. (Basically accomplished by dropping 1-3)
  5. We can and should drop at least 2 of the 4 streaming services we currently have. (how did this even happen? I mean, all together they cost less than cable would but STILL.)
  6. Clutter/excess stuff
  7. junk food
  8. Take out food/eating out mindlessly.
  9. most alcohol (ie “it’s Tuesday” is not a real reason to open a bottle of wine)
  10. Shopping.

Shopping. Shopping is huge. It’s an activity that is just begging to be abused especially in our consumer culture. I have used shopping as a social activity when I didn’t actually need to buy anything, as a pick-me-up when I ‘m blue, (OOO, look, Bargains!) as a sport, (again, bargains, I am Awesome at it!) as a way to kill time while waiting for someone, something, some event, etc., because I deserve __________, a treat, etc. and from a feeling like I might be missing out if I don’t go. I need to appreciate all that we have and stop adding to what is already too much.

Our worst budget-offense seems to have been take out meals. I don’t know how it got that way aside from me getting burnt out because I am the only one who really knows how to cook and I get wildly sick of doing it sometimes. That and migraines, poor sleep, stress, and how damn easy it was in the days before the sickness came to just order food and go and get it. We justified it way more often than we should have. Between that and my shopping “for bargains” because I know that was more money than I would probably be willing to accept, we must have been spending a ton. Somehow, our savings is actually trending in an upwards direction despite not having the rental income from our little apartment. We are both working from home but our income has dropped by a significant amount with the apartment empty, yet somehow, because we have barely had any take out and I haven’t been shopping as a sport, our savings has grown. And that with an increase in grocery spending.

Note: These revelations are brought to you by; The Year of Less; by Cait Flanders, and time spent in my 30 yards from the house getaway spot: The Airy-Fairy Peace, Love and Granola Hippie Fort & Art Studio. I’ve seen some harsh reviews of Cait’s book and I seriously just don’t get it. My guess is that people bought it wanting/expecting a how-to spend less kind of book, but it is clearly a memoir. The author is super clear that the book is basically all the stuff she went through while on her spend less journey that she didn’t include in her blog. So, it isn’t some step-by-step how-to book, though she does include her shopping ban rules, revised rules and some tips to get people started on their own journeys. What I find in her book is inspiration. Her life is/was very different from mine. She was single, in her 20s, and had a drinking problem and a spending problem that were both dragging her down. She was starting and developing a career and just in a very different place from me. I am a grown woman, well into adulthood, I am married with 3 adult and near adult kids, a house, etc. We don’t have the kind of debt she did. Getting drunk and forgetting things isn’t a thing. (my memory issues are more age or stress than anything else) But this young woman’s memoirs have much of value for me. She figured out some really important things well before I did and I’m so happy she decided to share her story.

So, thanks Cait! I am definitely going to keep working at this.