Seasonal Rambling & Gift Ideas

Okay, so I looked around trying to find Christmas crackers, the fun surprises not the ones you put cheese on, and none of them are acceptable. There are plenty in my price range but they are full of plastic junk and there are plenty that are not full of plastic junk but they are way out of my price range. So, for the second time ever, I am going to make my own. I made them once before, without the “pop” and without the paper crowns but discovered that both the paper crowns and the “pop” are very important to me. I was never going to make my own again but it turns out you can buy the pop-strips and the paper crowns so… How cool is that? I am going to have fun making sure these are topnotch Christmas crackers, oh yes, there will be chocolate. Here’s a link to a video on how to make them if anyone’s interested: https://youtu.be/XtohLHq3SCw (the 2nd way is simpler so don’t get discouraged by the 1st!)

As of today, October what? 21st? I am nearly done with my holiday shopping, except for food, and am making my way down my to-do list. My eldest daughter gave me her list at last so I have started on it and I’ve ordered almost everything for everyone. Stocking stuffers are mostly collected, I think one or two items might be left to gather. I have some crafting ahead of me, for sure, but not as much as previous years. Lets all pray to the old gods that my sewing machine doesn’t need a tune up and will perform its duties tidily and well. I have a fair bit of sewing ahead of me. I want to make Hogwarts themed cloth napkins for the Yule Feast. I’ve had the fabric forever just never got around to making them. I’m about 1/3 of the way through the project for our friend Savannah. (muahaha) And I’ve just got a few little bits and bobs to make. Once all the presents arrive it’s down to wrapping them, decorating the house and all things feast-related.

Killing it on the organization this year. Requested a couple of strategic shifts off in December to have a week off over the holidays and my boss approved it. Then she asked were there any days in November anyone wanted off and I asked for the 23rd because it’s our wedding anniversary and it’s also the Monday before Thanksgiving, and the anniversary of the first showing of the first episode of Doctor Who. I got that off as well so I am very happy. I anticipate an even more relaxed holiday season than I was expecting. ^_^ This never happens to me, never. I am always the one who ends up working the day after Christmas, the day after Thanksgiving, New Year’s Day etc. I always forget to ask ahead of time.

Holiday celebrations, and all celebrations, are awesome but one thing I hate is the attendant waste. I understand the relative “need” for paper plates and such, I try to avoid them whenever I can but I get it. What I hate is all the throw-away junk that gets bought, given, and very soon-thereafter tossed. All those cheap little pieces of junk that seem darling for like, an hour maybe, and then end up choking a sea turtle. This year wasn’t going to be too big on junk anyway but something in my inbox gave me just lovely ideas for stocking stuffers. Really good stuff that I feel like I should share with you, the dear people who stop by and read my silly blog. Here’s the link: https://modernmrsdarcy.com/stocking-stuffers/ It’s an old blog post for MMD and it is an excellent guide to stocking stuffers you won’t regret. It’s got practical items, useful items, consumables, and all that sort of thing. There are items on the list for everyone. Some broad ideas, some specific links that’ll do for inspiration at the very least… just check it out if you’re short on ideas. I tend to fill stockings with certain traditional items, at least traditional in my family, like; toothbrushes, a pair of socks, mittens, or gloves, a bit of candy, travel tissues, mini shampoo or conditioner or other toiletries, and I try to add some more individually targeted items like maybe a small paperback book, gaming dice, minis to paint, or other little items I know the receiver will especially appreciate.

On to presents! I love looking over curated suggestion lists. I don’t always find the perfect gifts on them but I do find inspiration and ideas that make for good jumping off points. This year the MMD (Modern Mrs. Darcy) has come out with a really nice list for book lovers: https://modernmrsdarcy.com/mmd-2020-gift-guide-for-book-lovers/?utm_source=convertkit&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=%F0%9F%93%9AThe+MMD+2020+gift+guide+for+book+lovers%20-%204645164 I think the socks and the little notebooks are particularly on point. This list for gamers has some ridiculous pricey items on it but a few nice little gems that are budget friendly: https://www.thisiswhyimbroke.com/gifts-for-gamers/ The $10 arcade style light switches make me want to rewire my house so there are more light switches. They are adorable! There are lists out there for all kinds of people. Google search is your friend.

Lists are cool, I usually find some good ideas, but sometimes they do fail me or my brain fails to engage while I’m looking at them and that’s when I switch tactics to something really fun. Gift Baskets absolutely rule. I used to put one together for fundraisers at my kid’s schools to be raffled off. They are easy, cheaper than you’d think, and so much fun to put together as well as to receive. They can be themed to cover almost anything, any interests, any occasion, etc. You could put together something fun like a “Movie Night” (for 2) basket. I’ve made these for a few people. I took a big plastic movie popcorn bucket, ($1) and filled it with: a few bags of microwave popcorn, ($1/3) a few box candies, ($1 each)and a couple of Virgil’s Rootbeers or a bottle of wine. I get everything but the drinks at Dollar Tree. Under $10 for the Virgil’s version, less than $15 for the wine version. (I tend to buy Apothic blends for $10 because they are both tasty and not too expensive) I get everything but the This year I’m considering making one or more “Sick Day” baskets with a fleece throw, cough drops, some cans of chicken soup, a couple of bottles of ginger ale, a book that’s a nice, light read maybe, or a book of crosswords or sudoku puzzles. I think I could pull that off for under $20 easily. You could make a nice food basket with some fresh fruit, block of nice cheese, some dried fruit and some packets of cocoa, a box of tea, etc. These things can be as practical or as silly as you like they are very flexible.

Let’s see… Do you know anyone who isn’t happy to receive home baked cookies as a gift? I make a few different kinds and put about a dozen cookies into each ($1) Christmas tin to give to coworkers or neighbors I don’t really know but want to spread a little cheer to. I also give them to friends if I know they don’t get time to bake much. Lemon bread is another good gift, I’ll try to post the recipe sometime soon, it’s awesome. I don’t get to eat it anymore because I am allergic but it still makes a good gift.

You probably have some great ideas for gifts, stockings, etc too, please feel free to share them. I am always looking for more ideas. ^_^

The $6 (ish) Dinner

I have a lovely little cookbook that I treasure called The New Cookbook for Poor Poets & Others; by Ann Rogers that talks about what she calls “the nickel dinner.” The nickel dinner is no longer really possible what with inflation and all, and wasn’t possible at the time “The New” was printed. (supposedly it was possible when the original cookbook was published) I love the idea of super cheap or free, but good, meals so sometimes I’ll figure out how much it costs me to make a meal for my family just to see how it compares to, say, the last time we ordered in or something.

Last night’s dinner was thrown together in a fog of humidity induced mental dullness. It was an evening I had nothing much left to give so I thought “pasta.” We had a bunch of zucchini from our farmshare so I decided to make the sauce I think I saw on Emmymade that was put out by Meghan Markle. It is a good, basic sauce but she clearly forgot the garlic so I fixed that for her. I also added a bit of cream and little shredded cheese to take it up a notch. Her recipe calls for cooking it down for 4-5 hours but I didn’t have that kind of time so i got out my immersion blender and it worked great. Next time I think I will add a little Green Dragon hot sauce to the mix. As I was cooking the nickel dinner idea wandered through my head and I stated adding things up:

16 ounce box of linguini: .99 cents
3 large Farmshare zucchini: $3.25
1 farmshare onion: .50 cents
Splash of cream: .50 cents
1 ounce shredded cheddar: .50 cents
2 cups broth made from chicken bones, veggie ends etc: free
random herbs and spices: maybe .25 cents?

Which comes to $5.99. Not bad! I had a little bit of nice bread left from a previous dinner to have on the side and I picked a bunch of mint from the yard to make mint iced tea. It was a successful dinner that everyone enjoyed and it was inexpensive so a big win in my book. Yesterday I also had enough purposely grown and wild berries to make a couple of smoothies too so, despite the heat & humidity, it was a good day. ^_^ Most of our dinners are a lot more expensive than this but still much cheaper than take out. Even my fancy meals, where I go all out, are a lot cheaper than meals out.

For anyone interested in the idea of making broth for free: it is really simple! I save any bones left from dinner, veggie stems or other unused bits, tiny amounts of leftover anything too small to save, wilted herbs and so on, sealed in bags or say an old yogurt tub, in the freezer. I try to cluster these items together so I can monitor how much of it I’ve saved. When I have what looks like enough for a batch of broth I dump it all into my crockpot and cover with water. I set the crockpot to low and let it cook for a few days, stirring once in a while, until I think all the goodness and flavor has made it from the food into the broth. Then I scoop out all the spent bits and discard them, strain the broth, and store it in jars in the fridge using it as needed for recipes over the next week or two or freezing it for later use. The other day I had some leftover veggie/bean thing that I added some broth to, turning it into soup, and served for lunch.

I have more questions… &… money stuff.

Here we are on what I can only assume, based on what it feels like, is day One Million of the apocalypse, and I find myself pondering in circles again. I have to go back to work soon and it’s already feeling way too “back to normal” for my lizard brain which is still informing me forcefully that the emergency is still going despite appearances. I am not ready, and much as I love my job, I don’t know if I ever really will be. On to some questions I can’t answer!

When will it be safe for my daughters to go find jobs again? I cannot freaking imagine.
Why am I so jumpy? I’ve barely seen anyone outside my little family in about.. 400 years (?) so how am I not calmer?
How can I still not be finding time to play board games?
How come a guy can come mow the lawn, pull some weeds and chop down a few bushes and somehow the yard is double the size it was?
How did I get such an awesome husband? Seriously, he GETS me and still wants to hang out with me. Crazy.
It isn’t 5:00 yet and the leftovers of a bottle of Pinot Grigio have me tipsy, since it’s the apocalypse this is 100% ok.. or no?
What ale is best with breakfast? asking for a friend. (it’s me)
How can I have this much anxiety???
Why is my dog so stinky? I thought they cleaned themselves like cats, no?
Why does my hippie fort calm me down so much? what the hell is up with that? I walk in and in minutes I’m a happier, calmer, way more relaxed version of me. I don’t get it. It’s like 30 yards from the house!
What am I going to make for dinner tonight? Oh yeah? What about TOMORROW????? And repeat because this one never ever ends and I don’t know WTF to do anymore. *deep breath* I’ll think of something. I am shockingly resourceful.

Money: So, just before the pandemic hit our tenant told us she was pregnant and moving out. So, I think her last month was February and the apartment has been empty since then. We charge a fairly low rent for our area, made to seem even lower because it includes everything except phone, internet, cable and that. We cover heat, electricity, and hot water. The heat and hot water are oil/steam/whatever, but none of that has gone down without a tenant, really, and yet with us not going anywhere, or ordering food in much at all, we’re making slight but noticeable gains. (???) It’s weird. But then I mention it to my husband and he’s says we haven’t been spending $240/month on gas for the cars. What the hell? I never thought about how MUCH that added up to! We have cut back quite a bit on meals out, I’d say we’re at maybe 2Xs/month (delivered) down from 1 or 2 Xs/week at about $50-$100 each thoughtless time.

Shopping: I no longer shop extreme bargains as a matter of course. I don’t shop really at all, I have no number to add to this, but I will say that ordering online makes me more thoughtful, more deliberate. I feel anxious out in public and I think it makes me rush into decisions. That may mean I was more impulsive in spending, just wanting to get it over with to get back home. I am carefully curating lists for myself for things that will actually add value to my existence that I will need to shop for, find free or whatever once some level of safety from mad viruses returns. This pandemic has shown me that I can actually comfortably do a real shopping ban and I intend to do just that, I mean, I’m sort of already in one, mostly, anyway.

Yeah, so, I need to think about what kind of goal we might set, because not having one has just left us adrift doing what seems cool at the moment, and that is just Not Cool. If we don’t get clear about what it is that we want how can we ever get it? What are your goals? What are you working towards? What do you want out of life? Feel free to answer in the comments, I am also asking myself.

Killing Stress with New Skills

Life is hard. It just is. So fucking hard. My house is like some kind of stress factory and I spend so much time doing emotional work for others that I am tired All The Time. Things tend to feel stagnant, like no progress is being made, especially re. the kids. Eldest is still working part time for minimum wage although her hours are up because of holiday busyness. Youngest is in 11th grade and muddling along doing as little as he can get away with doing but he is finding some joy there, some interest, the future remains a Giant Ball of Dread to him though. Middlest is going along at community college with a 3/4 schedule + work-study. She’s seen one paycheck so far and it covered less than 1/10th of he tuition, books and art supplies, hopefully there will be a flurry of checks SOON. Husband is in his last semester for his latest degree and is fully stressing out. He has 8 days to write a 25 page paper and he has a few paragraphs so far. I think panic is about to set in. His job is also driving him full-on Crazy right now with a huge and scary server migration + the replacement of all copiers and printers etc etc. He’s supposed to be focusing on these VERY IMPORTANT trainings on the new server stuff so he can, you know, DO his job, but gets interrupted every 1-2 minutes by people with piddly little problems they want fixed “now.” His assistant is trying very hard to keep people away from him but he’s still getting over 25 emails per hour all day long.

Yeah, so stressful is the word. Slow progress for kids, too much on husband’s plate, we’re all border-lining on illness most of the time now. My headaches are getting worse, I assume it’s stress. I am trying to make home a sanctuary from all the madness by continuing to declutter, getting nice meals on the table daily, keeping healthy snacks on hand as well as cocoa, wine and beer, and of course I am always cleaning, keeping the fire going and so on. I’m finding my peace in learning new skills and trying new things. I watch Li Ziqi on YouTube because everything she does is both relaxing to watch and completely inspiring. I’ll be watching while I knit and my husband will glance up to see her using hand tools to just flat out make something out of trees she cut down or something and he’ll ask: “what’s she making? I seriously wouldn’t be surprised if it turned out to be a working helicopter made from scrap metal and bamboo.” All I can say is; “Right????” Some of her stuff has no English translation to it at all so I watch the whole video completely confused by what veggies she’s cooking but in the end I want to eat it all, anyway even with all my allergies, because her cooking looks so amazing I swear I can almost smell it. Here’s a link to her channel if you’re interested: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCoC47do520os_4DBMEFGg4A

So, new skills I’ve been working on:

Learning to dry fruits and veggies. So far: oranges, apples, cranberries and hot peppers.
Darning socks, I haven’t got this figured out yet, it doesn’t look all that hard but it turns out to be tricky.
Making my own lip-balm. SO EASY! Plus I get custom flavors and simple ingredients.
Making my own laundry detergent, yeah, I’m doing this right now as I type. I’ve got baking soda cooking away at 400 degrees to turn it into washing soda and then I grate up some soap, mix everything together with Borax and apparently That’s IT.

There are loads of skills I want to learn that will keep me busy… probably the rest of my life if I’m honest. I want to learn to garden, to grow my own food and herbs, I want to learn to make clothes that look good, presentable, tailored I guess, that are well-made and will last. I want to learn to build things, whatever I need really, like shelves, or raised garden beds, or wooden furniture. I want to learn languages, so many, so, so many, I can’t even choose where to start. I also like to learn to make pretty much all household cleaners and such-like things. It’s stunning how much we pay for stuff like that and it’s made out of pretty simple stuff for the most part. I’m sure I’ll let you know how my experiments go.

Good Things in November

I’ve been working my ass off lately. Getting a lot done, learning new skills, trying to get things to go smoothly around here. All while not feeling terrific but who feels terrific these days? Anyone? Well, not me. Anyway, I wanted to share some of the things I’ve been doing/learning, so here goes.

This is kindling I gathered up around the yard and broke into useable pieces.

I’m trying to avoid paying for at least some of the kindling and fire wood we’ll need to get through the winter by taking advantage of the dead wood that drops off the oaks around our house. I had to buy a saw because the only one we had was rusted to oblivion.

Part of a large branch that fell in our yard that I sawed into logs using my own human muscles and a hand saw. ^_^

Our farm share was as abundant this year as it always is and I am trying not to let it go to waste as much as that is possible. Having things like beets already cooked and ready to heat up helps. I’ve also been trying to use the already running wood stove to cook as much as I can to help keep the electric bill down.

Beets from our farm share cooking on the wood stove.

I’m teaching myself “creative mending” techniques.

My friend’s washing machine mangled her new work fleece that she has to wear and she asked me disguise the worst of it with decorations. I was also able to reinforce it from the inside and hide that obvious divot better.

I’m also learning to make upcycled sweater mittens. I made these with a felted lambswool sweater and used a pair of fleece pajama pants to line them.

I’ve been drying herbs, peppers, and other things to use over the winter, some from our farm share, some bought hella cheap, some grown right here at home. I grew the mint! Don’t laugh too hard, I am a blight druid who loves plants and desperately wants to be a regular druid. Being able to not kill mint is a milestone.

I feel like I’m starting to figure out who I want to be or at least some of what I want to be. I want to be more self-sufficient, more skilled at things that help, that matter, more content with what I have and able to create more of what I, and we, need to be well, to be happy, to be comfortable. I’m finding that I enjoy being productive when it’s for a purpose, I like working hard when it matters, like getting the wood into the shed before it snows, using the remains of our chicken dinner to make broth I can use in my potato-leek soup, or taking a ruined sweater and using a fair bit of it to make something useful instead of just landfilling the whole thing. I don’t feel well, but I do feel good, satisfied that I am making progress toward something worthwhile, and that ain’t nothing.

Mostly Meal Planning/Saving $

I have to be at my place of work every day this week. I’m working tonight, tomorrow night, have a 1 hour staff meeting Wednesday morning, a 2 hour training Thursday, work Friday night and all day Saturday. I know, I’m lucky, I work part time not full time, but I’m still responsible for getting the kids to and from school every day, making sure dinner is on the table even when I’m not here to eat it, and doing most of the housework. The logistics of this week are nuts. I think I also have my handyperson coming to start working on the shed.

I won’t be here for dinner 4 nights out of 5 this week so I had to scramble to make plans for 4 dinners I can make ahead and implore the gods my kids will remember to put in the oven. Tonight will be vagabond packets, tomorrow I told my husband they can make sandwiches as I got the nice sandwich rolls, deli meat etc, Thursday will be seafood casserole, Friday Lasagna and I’ll be here to cook Wednesday and hopefully my husband will BBQ on Saturday since I’ll be coming through the door right at dinner time. Sometimes I really feel like having to cook for everyone all the time is some kind of tyranny imposed on me. I like cooking, it’s just trying to come up with meals, especially ones that have to be in a slow-cooker or can just be popped in the oven by someone else, is such a thankless task. I’ve had so many slow-cooker cookbooks, and searched for so many recipes online for casseroles, for slow-cooker recipes, etc. and there are millions of recipes out there but a lot of them are awful or variations on each other.

I keep the above list in my Bullet Journal and use it every week to try to plan our dinners. Some of the ideas refer to specific recipes and some are sort of just a theme. Soup and salad could be any of several homemade soups I like to make and any sort of salad, for instance, or tacos and rice could be any kind of meat, veg, cheese, & tortillas, chips, guac. etc. My method is simple, I look at my schedule and see how many dinners I will not be home for and then I pick that many meals I can more-or-less make ahead, fill in the gaps with whatever meals I want to make for the other nights and then make a shopping list based on whatever I’ll need that isn’t on hand already. What I’ll actually purchase is based on the list but gets adjusted to take advantage of any great sales I find at the grocery store. I might have planned to make turkey burritos but if ground beef is cheaper that week, or ground pork etc, I adjust.

I spend $70-$140 week on groceries for 5 of us depending on a few factors. (that figure includes pet food, paper goods, food wrap, and toiletries) I do not consider the amount I spend to be very low, it is less than most people I know spend and I know where I can make changes to spend less when I need to. If you are spending more than you’d like to and want to trim your food budget there is a good chance that you can. There are a few things I do that help me save significantly on food that you can try out or adapt to your needs.

#1. I think the most important thing I do to keep food expenses under control is maintaining a well-stocked pantry. My pantry consists of a decent sized double cupboard in the kitchen and a set of cupboards in my laundry room, I’m not sure what the cubic footage is but I’ll check soon and report back if anyone is interested. (drop a comment to let me know if you feel like it.) My pantry contains many things:

Baking Supplies: flour, sugar, baking powder & baking soda, brown sugar, molasses, honey, chocolate chips, vanilla, etc etc. (I keep lots of flour sealed up in the freezer too to prevent bugs when storing longer term)
Canned goods: Vegetables, tuna, all kinds of beans including baked beans and refried beans, as well as the plain kinds, pre-made soups and pasta in sauce, (for casseroles and power outages etc)
Boxes of pasta. I have a LOT of pasta. Upwards of 40 lbs. most or the time. Plus 10-20 boxes of mac & cheese and 50+ ramen noodle packets.
Jars of pasta sauce. I usually have 20-30 on hand.
Condiments and salad dressings. I keep 5+ ketchup, mustard, mayo, pickles, hot sauce, siracha, green salsa, red salsa, soy sauce, shelf-stable dressings, etc, etc.
Quick sides like instant potato packets, or packets of broccoli-cheese pasta that I can whip up easy for myself if I feel unwell or use with other ingredients to make an easy side casserole to go with dinner if I’m strapped for time, unwell, or suddenly have more folks at my table.
Tea and coffee. I have an entire shelf taken up with various teas, most cheap, some a little special. I like to have something that might appeal to anyone who stops by. I have coffee for my daughter and for guests it’s plain because I know nothing about coffee.
Cereals both hot and cold. I keep oats for cooking and various oatmeals for my daughter who likes it. I keep 1-4 boxes of cold cereal on hand mostly slightly healthier seeming stuff, no bright colors, no marshmallows, etc.
Peanut butter and jams/jellies. I keep around 3-12 jars of PB around at all times for sandwiches, snacking, and sauces. I keep a few jars of jam/jelly around in various flavors for sandwiches, baking, etc.
A mad assortment of spices bought in bulk, given to me by people moving, harvested, dried & jarred by me, or grabbed relatively cheaply at Trader Joe’s.

All that stuff up above? I buy a LOT of whenever it’s on an excellent sale. I almost never find myself forced to pay 4+ dollars for mayo because whenever it hits $2-$3 I stock up. I get my ketchup for $2/bottle at Trader Joe’s because that is very cheap for ketchup without high fructose corn syrup. Pasta I grab at $1 or less per pound, Pasta sauce when it hits $1/quart, etc.

#2 Making use of my freezer. Right behind the pantry in importance is my freezer, or freezers. I have the typical top-of-the-fridge and a medium chest freezer. I keep various types of foods in my freezer to save money.

Meat. I stock up when anything is super cheap and repackage bulk packs into portions that match the amounts I typically cook with. Ground beef, chicken, kielbasa, bacon, etc.
Frozen veggies. Mostly broccoli and sliced bell peppers, sometimes cauliflower and other things. I stock up when these hit $1/10 oz package and use when fresh is unavailable/too expensive.
Butter. I buy butter for $3/lb or less. (Only making exceptions at the holidays if I have managed to run out.) I keep 5-10 lbs on hand if I can.
Flour. I keep most of my flour, sealed up in layered bags, in the freezer. Flour can get moths in the cupboard and I hate to waste it. I buy when it’s super cheap and use it for AGES. I keep 20+ lbs around and buy when it’s .20-.40 cents/lb.
Rice. It can get buggy just like flour so the rice lives in the freezer. I keep 30+lbs on hand and buy it when it’s on sale. Prices vary wildly depending on the type of rice.

#3 Farmshare. You may or may not have this option in your area. We are part of a CSA: Community Supported Agriculture, where we pay a local farmer a certain amount in the spring and then stop by the farm weekly to get a share of the produce. Currently our farm share costs $650 and we get 8-9 items per week, June – November. (PLUS “field items.”) To give you an idea of what you might get here is this week’s share: (which I chose from among the available options) 2 lbs potatoes, 4 heads of lettuce, 4 lbs red peppers, 6 leeks, 2 acorn squash, 2 lbs onions, several hot peppers, approx. 5 lbs tomatillos, fresh flowers, fresh herbs: cilantro, thyme, oregano, basil. … I think that’s it for this week. Our farmshare only goes for 6 out of 12 months but it keeps us in winter squash, garlic and a few other things through to spring.

#4, (and lastly for now as I need to pre-make dinner and get myself ready for work) Meal Planning. I do what I outlined above. Check my schedule, pick our dinners, make a list based on what isn’t already in the house, and make adjustments based on killer sale prices. I used to use the weekly flyers from the grocery stores to plan meals around sales but have found my current method to be slightly more effective/less stressful. Meal planning saves us money in more than 1 way. First it takes advantage of the pantry & freezer & second it almost always keeps us from resorting to ordering pizza or grabbing meals out. If there is a plan in place, barring accidents, emergencies or migraines, I fit it into my schedule and it is pretty stress free.

That’s pretty much it. If you start keeping a pantry or stocking your freezer just ROTATE the food, meaning: put the NEW stuff in the back/bottom and pull the Older stuff to the front. Use your pantry don’t just leave it sit. Take the older stuff at the front to prepare your meals and add the new stuff to the back as you go and you should do alright.

Spending Slow-Down

I’m going to try to not spend money. I need to pick a start date and set some parameters but I’d really like to try to spend as little as possible in all areas. I feel like starting September 1st would be good, it’s the next good rollover point, and…

FOOD: I need to get back into planning our meals. I was doing fairly well at this for a while but it is weirdly exhausting to me after a while. I think a few new ideas would help and maybe I could designate a couple of days with themes like, pasta night, or soup & sandwiches, just to make a few less decisions. We’ll need to cut back on meat for sure, so expensive, and I’ll need to cook more from scratch, we’ll need to lean hard on the farmshare we already have and USE IT UP. Doable.

For items like clothing etc:

Try not to spend as a 1st step: mend what’s broken instead of replacing.
If something must be acquired or replaced get it free from “freecycle,” or “buy nothing.”
If those avenues are a bust try charity shops and thrift stores.
Borrow the item from friends if it’s only needed briefly.
Only buy new if all else fails.

There are some challenges, of course, there is back to school, but we already got the lad’s clothes, there’s just school supplies left and we have a lot in the house already so he may be covered. Then there are 3 birthdays coming up, my husband and both daughters, there will obviously be a few presents for that, and the winter holidays, there will be presents there too. In the past I have set a spending limit per person but we tend to weirdly “go big” on the holidays. My husband was raised that way but I wasn’t, I just embraced it because he was so happy that way. I’ve seen a little list to minimize spending that was something like: 1. something to wear, 2. something to read, 3. something they want, & 4. something they need. Maybe that would work. I’m going to look into what other ideas are out there. I make a lot of stuff too, gifts for people, I’ll have to work that into the plan and use what I already have to make those presents.

a very blah day

Went to bed with a headache, woke up with a headache, didn’t sleep well. The overcast and rain seem to fit my drained-feeling mood. I’ve been trying to rally but today’s tasks aren’t helping much.

Had to fill out school forms for the lad, they seem needlessly invasive to me but I guess in some kind of emergency his dad and I, who both work within 30 minutes of his school, might be unreachable. He starts next week and they just emailed me the summer reading list. I feel like maybe I should have gotten that a while ago. Actually, they sent a big email about how they are all about communication, effective communication, and keeping parents informed and there was a note about summer reading lists and school supply lists with a link to the website and instructions on where to find these lists and neither was there or anywhere I could find. I emailed the secretary asking where I should look and she emailed back 2 documents without so much as a single word like, “hello,” “oops!” or “Sorry, here you go!” Excellent communication. There are 2 books the kid is supposed to read by next week and he’s at work with his dad so I have no idea if this is something he’s already on top of or if I should be trying to scare up these books for him. So, I filled out forms and signed permissions etc. and found that one form has to go to the Dr.’s office. Oops, that one is on me, I didn’t check it thoroughly when I opened the packet.

I was also supposed to be making a monster book of monsters notebook to proof the process we’ll be using, that’s a great, fun task, but I can’t find all the materials I had to make it with… I’ve looked everywhere I can think of but all I found is the fake fur. So that’s on hold till I find everything. Or I skip it and take a chance on Friday that it will just work out ok. Not my preferred method but it might be the one I have to go with.

I got an email from my ex-boss last night asking me to work next Wednesday with my favorite coworker for the day, I said I’d see if I could and get back to her ASAP. This morning I get a follow up email saying how she’s supposed to be on vacation but had to work today due to lack of coverage, I think that’s a passive sort of jab because I quit. I gave notice on June 26th, my last day was July 10th, it is not my fault she didn’t hire anyone. The email also said she was then planning to be on vacation next week but now that’s collapsed and if I work next Wednesday I’d be working with her. I do not want to work with her, she likes to keep me “busy.” She’ll send me to weed out books that haven’t circulated in 6 years or more and when I lug them downstairs she then goes through them to decide book by book if she really wants to get rid of them, which I understand, BUT then I get to put the one’s she’s not ready to let go back upstairs, and come down and delete the others. Honestly, if she needs to weigh the worth of each book she could delete them herself and save time. I wouldn’t even mind just being the book sherpa who has to run up and down the stairs for her. It’s that she pretends I’m involved in the decision and then shatters that illusion. That’s her pattern and a main reason I was glad I don’t have to work there anymore.

Also, the last shift I worked was very, very awkward. Her friend came in as we were putting some materials together for the kids and pulled up a chair with us. I was practically sitting right between the two of them and my boss starts talking about her ex. She was talking about such wildly uncomfortable things… I just can’t. Not graphic, not like that, just… she’s pining over this guy who moved on years ago, is with someone else, has kids with the new person, I think they are married, and she’s just talking about all the possibilities or whatever and I almost cringed so hard I became a singularity. Her friend was clearly uncomfortable too and didn’t know what to say. I wanted to sink into the floor, run from the room, fly away. I was so happy when that shift ended, I haven’t been back there since. That would have been awkward no matter who it was but it was my BOSS. She also made assumptions about my schedule in the second email, saying if I left at 2:30 I could get my kid from school… he gets out at 1:30 and I would have to leave by 1:00 to get him. Something about that just bothers me.

On the plus side, I’ve spent the day at home so far, doing laundry, changing the sheets, thawing stuff for dinner, getting the forms out of the way, stitching a comforter back together that was starting to fall apart. I haven’t popped out to spend money or shopped online. It’s way to easy for me to spend money when my mood is tanking or I’m stressed. I’ve been trying to resist, and doing fairly well for some months now, but I slip a little now and then. I try to be really deliberate about what I buy, to plan ahead, to get excellent deals and spend as little as possible, every once in a while I suddenly find myself buying a bunch of yarn because it’s pretty, or picking up something else I don’t need, but I keep trying. I posted this morning on a sharing site about needing some stuff to fix up the shed. People just give away things they don’t need, I do it too, give stuff away there. There’s no cost to anything, no profit made, it’s all just to clear things out and get them to people who will actually use them, and keep things from ending up in a landfill. The phrase “There is no ‘away.” motivates me. When we decide something is useless, is trash, and some things actually are of course, but when we toss things “away” they don’t really go away. All that stuff, and it’s a MASSIVE amount of stuff, goes somewhere on this planet and begins to degrade, to pollute often, and there is so, so, much of it. It’s another great reason to avoid buying new things besides saving money.