Tag: safety

Baking, Work, & Speculation

I baked scones yesterday. With rose petals and pine nuts. I think I’m allergic to pine nuts now. I still don’t feel right. I can’t take more Benedryl because I have to go to work later. Today is going to be less than ideal. Oh well. Anyway, the scones were pretty and quite tasty. I’ll probably have to make coffee cake muffins again this morning instead. Bummer.

This morning I am baking a sour cream streusel coffee cake and it is taking FOREVER. The recipe said 35-40 minutes and it’s been an hour and counting. Oh! I just realized why! My pan is 8″x8″ not 9″x9″…. yep, that’ll do it. It smells so good I can’t believe it. We are going to demolish this thing. I predict a lot of burned mouths due to impatience.

Yesterday’s “allergy scones” (delicious if dangerous) & today’s coffee cake

Verdict is in. Husband gives the coffee cake 10/10 and I think it would be if it were 100% cooked which I don’t think it is…. I will use a 13″x9″ pan next time and bake it for probably about 20-30 minutes. I think it’s worth saving. We’ll see how it goes over with the offspring in a bit, they are all still sleeping. I’m a little bummed the middle isn’t quite cooked. Presumably I didn’t insert the toothpick far enough in? Rookie mistake and you hate to see it.

In other news, my state is going to “stage 3” of reopening today, despite the fact that it hasn’t been long enough for us to see how stages 1 & 2 are affecting infection rates yet. *sigh* We have gotten some calls at the library from patrons who are upset we haven’t opened our doors yet, one said they were going to complain to someone. My Director has said we will not open until our plexiglass shields are installed but I fear she may cave to pressure as people keep barrelling forward. I will quit if it comes to it. Gods, I hate that I have to even consider that. I am watching my friends starting to go out to eat in outdoor seating, resuming getting haircuts, even massage, and I can’t believe it. It seems so clear that the guidelines we are being given through official channels are inadequate, I don’t know how people aren’t seeing that. We wouldn’t have the infection rates we’re seeing if the virus was carried on droplets that are gone in 15 minutes, scientists are telling us it is actually airborne, meaning it can hang there in the air, floating, for far, far longer than 15 minutes. They found Covid-19 in air samples from that cruise ship 17 Days after everyone disembarked.

There are also continuing stories of people attacking store clerks etc, forcibly removing their masks, even breaking their arms. I don’t like thinking that that happens to anyone, let alone that it could happen to me, I wish everyone could just keep it on the road and behave. I like to think of the library as a peaceful place, a relatively quiet & civilized place, a place where assaults don’t happen. But they do. Libraries are for everyone, so we get all kinds, some of bigoted and violent and they absolutely, if they follow library rules while in the library, have the right to check out materials, use computers and so on. I like to think maybe those types will learn something when they visit, that they might gain a broader perspective. That is certainly my wish for them. And yet, because of those types, I am forced to assess the risks to myself in simply going to work amid this pandemic. Once the doors open how safe will I be? Only as safe as the most selfish, deluded patron allowed through the doors lets me be.

So where is the other side of this? I mean, what will the other side of this be when we get there? Do things ever really go back to normal again? Just as they were, as far as handshakes, hugging, attending events, and so on goes? The shocking swiftness of the spread of this disease makes me think we would be unwise to ever return to what we used to call “normal.” If the next disease to spring into being is as contagious as this one, has a similar, long incubation, but also has a higher death rate like some others we’ve seen, say 30%? It will be an unstoppable, global calamity. I’m not freaked out about that idea, I’m just looking at what we’ve got in Covid-19 and thinking about other related infections like MERS. We may or may not see a disease that is that “perfect storm” of highly contagious, stealthy, and deadly, but we certainly cannot rule it out. What am I hearing this morning? Bubonic plague in Mongolia? Brain eating amoebas in Florida? Is anyone keeping track of the giant murder hornets in the Northwestern U.S.?

This is why I hide my poor, tired brain away, it’s hard to hold onto any kind of metal balance if one stays adequately informed about the world. So I paint, and I bake, and I read, and, most of all, I game. I become other people, in other worlds, I stride around like a badass and conquer all my problems head on. It’s nice when problems are imaginary and can be solved with a few good die rolls. I wish I could bring about world peace & social justice with a few natural 20s in diplomacy. I wish I could conquer world hunger by creating a gathering of Druids who could travel the world creating adequate food and clean water for everyone. Crazy diseases? Meet these fine clerics of Iomedae or Desna! Boom! Solved. I wish. So, I keep hiding in my little home life, in my books and games and such.

104 days of isolation. I’m not ready to go back.

20,000 new cases in the U.S. every day… again, and I have to start back to work today. I am an animal undergoing stress. We have been so careful and have been waiting this out as best we can and now I am supposed to go back to work and raise our risk of exposure when it isn’t safe at all. I’ll be in the library with one coworker, always the same coworker for every shift, with lots of protocols and precautions in place. It’s good, it’ll be fine, it’s ok. No patrons will be allowed in but we are supposed to manage curbside pick-up for people. It’ll be ok.

I’m freaked out mostly because I see so many people out there without masks. They walk up and down my street in groups, they jog, bicycle, and walk their dogs. People like my mother have been having “socially distanced” gatherings all along, rejected their masks because they didn’t feel like they could get enough air, and still say they have “zero exposure.” I trust almost no one who assures me they haven’t been exposed. People are just way too casual about this virus and believe, without actual proof, way too many things about it. Much of my husband’s family just believes that Vitamin D will keep them from getting it, tons of people are assuming it will die down in the summer and are behaving accordingly. I’m not saying they are wrong I am saying we don’t know so we should not rush out there and risk being filled with regret.

In all seriousness I do not think there is an upper limit to the number of times I am going to have to answer the same damn questions for my mother. “Is hubby back to work yet?” Answer: No. He will not consider going back until September. “Are the kids getting out to see their friends or looking for jobs?” Answer: No. They will not consider doing so until at least September. I also hear about (from my mother) everything everyone else is comfortable doing now. Mom sees her friends “with social distance,” my sister had her in-laws over, this or that place is open for business, her friend did X, Y, or Z. Well, they can all go ahead and do that, that is up to them, that is what they are doing, I will do what I feel is wise. Does she think I am going suddenly say; “oh so-and-so is doing that? Sign me up! That changes Everything!” I get exhausted dealing with her for over 10 minutes these days.

So, I am going back to work today. Stressed, with a headache, but, and I am dead serious about this, without a bra. I cannot begin to express how awesome it is to have gone 3 MONTHS without wearing one of those torture devices and I am not going back. I will find a way. Masks are uncomfortable but at least they serve to help protect me from an actual threat, I will wear a mask without complaint. Let me add that I totally get that some women like bras, I assume, or need them because they serve an actual function for them. To quote a badass babe; “That’s not me.” My boobs are not of sufficient magnitude to warrant outside support. That said, I think I need to find some sort of substitute to hide certain, mercurial little aspects of said boobs, but I am determined to get that sorted.

Belatedly I am realizing that there are a number of logistical problems I need to sort out before I can go to work today: (yes, I am sitting here blogging instead of jumping on those problems)

  1. I need an outfit I can decently wear without a bra that isn’t basically pajamas.
  2. I need to make or figure out something for dinner that someone else can make without too much risk-factor.
  3. I need to figure out some sort of dinner for myself that I can bring to work.
  4. I have to remember/figure out all the things I need to bring with me to work so I can get stuff done once I get there.
  5. I have to hope I can still drive in the dark.
  6. I forgot to call and get my car looked at for what is hopefully a muffler problem and
  7. I need to get my oil changed.

Usually making lists calms me down. This one is not helping.