Remember, Remember…

So, to catch me up to today: democracy still hangs in the balance, we topped 100,000 infections yesterday, wow, and my hometown voted over 90% for the side of sanity, human rights, and compassion. A mixed bag. I don’t know how many died of Covid19 yesterday but it’s usually around 1,000. One thousand, it’s just a number, so abstract to hear it like that: 1,000 died yesterday. That is 1,000 people, 1,000 human lives cut short in a horrific way. 1,000 people dying pretty much alone, isolated, every single day from just this one disease. I say all that to remind myself of the 10s of thousands of broken hearts happening because of those deaths. I need to be patient, be safe, keep everyone safe by continuing to wear a mask, keeping a nice 6 ft distance from others, staying the course.

Still no word on whether democracy will be renewed for any further seasons. I’m trying not to think about it. I’m trying not to think about the awful people out there threatening the poll workers with guns to try to get them to stop counting votes because they don’t care about democracy or freedom only the continuation of their orange faced baboon in chief’s reign of idiocy and destruction. So, good job me, there I go thinking about it!

Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out. Think about art, think about gardening, think about books and reading. It’s all good. It’s all good. Everything will be ok, sanity will prevail, it will. When it does there will be a fuckton of work to do to get things back to anything approaching normal or good, again. And there will be even more work to do to bring about universal healthcare, racial justice, and human rights for all. Things are bad, and the flames have been fanned by a madman for nearly 4 years now, so it’s going to suck, and be a huge amount of work to fix it, but we can fix it. Ok, here’s me not thinking about it again.

I’ll be stress-eating if anyone needs me.

Day 53, part 2: virus has no heart

We just found out my husband’s auntie, who is mentally disabled and lives in a group home, has Covid-19 and she’s really, really ill. We found out some days back that people in her home had tested positive but she was not ill. She told my husband’s mom, on the phone, that she was really scared. We were worried about her but hopeful she might somehow not get it. You gotta hope, right? But we heard last night she’s got it and she is very sick. She hasn’t seen any family in over a month because of the pandemic and now… and she’s mentally maybe somewhere around 5 years old. She’s sweet and harmless, she loves Disney princesses and… I’m going to cry. No one can go see her, she’s isolated within the group home, it’s just so awful. I don’t know what to do.

We’ve been taking this virus very seriously from very early on, it’s made us nervous, careful, kept us home and disinfecting everything. It’s just getting way too real now and far too sad to bear. May the Gods old and new keep watch over her and comfort her.