Tag: failure

Lessons from the Summer

Summer Reading is over. This year was my first attempt at running a Summer Reading Program. I became a teen librarian in December and felt like I started out several paces behind where I needed to be. It’s been pretty challenging managing the collection and running the teen programs. The first couple of months I barely managed to run the Teen Advisory Board and a craft or two. The YA writer’s group, which had run for a couple of years, was the first casualty of my inexperience. We floundered for a couple of months but couldn’t make it work. I think it might be something that could be started up again at some point.

I thought I was prepared for Summer Reading. I’d helped manage an SRP before as a Library Assistant but being in charge was a whole other thing. The theme this year was Space, more specifically it was: “A Universe of Stories.” So I made a schedule of six sci-fi movies showing one a week during Summer Reading. I also planned six craft workshops, roughly one a week as well. The movies were an abject failure. Virtually no one came to any of them. I think Friday was a bad choice of day and 6pm was an even worse choice of time. Four of my craft workshops were very successful and two were an adventure in frustration and disappointment. The two that failed were knitting and crochet. Tons of kids signed up, and they were very well attended but they were still failures. The kids did NOT learn to knit or crochet. If I ever try either again I will hire a professional instructor and block out more time. OOF. Four workshops went well, 2 of these I hired outside instructors for and 2 I ran myself.

I had a woman come in and teach some hand sewing to which I added suggestions for decorative touches that the kids were very enthusiastic about. We had some neat projects come out of that. The other instructor taught the kids to make some artistic sorts of books and the kids did amazing work. Heads down, working away, making beautiful art. I ran the Galaxy Ts and Space Mug workshops and it was fun, the kids were creative, they left with wearable art and everyone asked for more programming like that. Yay.

Next up I’ve got Harry Potter crafts for August and December, some computer coding workshops run by Holyoke Codes coming up in September and October, also in October I hope to have a sleepover at the library for Halloween. November is a bit up in the air still. I might take it easy and just have a board game night. In December I’m planning on showing the first Harry Potter movie and serving butterbeer. Then 2020 will be upon us. I have been working on it, just a little bit, for months!

Next summer’s theme is “Imagine Your Story” a fairy tale theme. This will be much more of a hit than space/sci-fi with our local teens. Learning from my mistakes this summer, I am not going to have weekly movies, instead I am going to have monthly movies starting in January. Every month I will show a fairy tale themed movie and sort of extend the theme all year long. Also starting in January will be “Book Boot Camp” where we will read a different genre every month and get together to talk about what we liked and didn’t like about it, it’s basically just to challenge the teens to read outside their comfort zones. I’m planning a fairy tale writing contest for the summer as well as a themed escape room and a series of at least five crafts. (NO KNITTING OR CROCHET)

I’ve already written a “How to Write a Fairy Tale” brochure and almost finished my SRP flyer and write ups. I just need an actual schedule of events, and approval for all of it, and I can finish writing it and start working on organizing it. I am not going to be doing anything in a state of last minute panic next summer.

Minor Revelations

My 17 year old is depressed and anxious. He’s also very introverted and doesn’t feel motivated to hang out with people so we have to push him to do that. He has fun when he does, usually. His therapist has been giving him assignments over the past year, to hang out with peers, to introduce himself to people, to reach out more in general, to get involved in activities with others. Recently, my husband has started giving him assignments too. He told our son to pick a girl he finds attractive (at this art activity he was in) and walk up to her before he left and just say “I really like what you did, it’s cool.” and smile. He did it! (I freaking saw him do it because I was running the activity)

He does try to do all the things we and the therapist suggest to him. He and his dad have been running in the mornings for a few weeks and eating better too. He used to drink a ton of juice and juice, beyond a small glass or 2 per day is rubbish for you. It’s basically all sugar. I took juice away a while ago and the kid lost 12 pounds in a few weeks. I’ve been trying to get him to drink water all along, it being the actual liquid our bodies crave, but he hasn’t been into it at all. Since our weekend away at the Cape, besides decluttering I’ve been washing up the dishes right after meals and also keeping a full pitcher of water in the fridge. Suddenly the kid is drinking water all the time. I can’t believe it, he hated water, now he loves it because it’s cold from the fridge. He’s also eating fruit, especially grapes, he and my husband agree that grapes are AWESOME right after their morning run.

Oh, and he also wants to get into Tae Kwan Do now. The only exercise I’ve ever been able to get him to do was swimming! A whole combination of things has come together and all these long wanted changes are suddenly happening. He’s been in therapy and on meds for a year, we’re eating family meals together much more consistently, there is cold water in the fridge at all times, and he started running with his dad. He is becoming a happier, healthier kid. Some changes are dramatic and some are subtle but they are happening. He and my husband are both losing weight. Oh, for anyone who’s wondering, they are using something called “Couch to 5K” it’s an app you can get for your phone that tells you what to do each day and builds you up to being able to run 5K. I’ve been walking using the new Harry Potter game as motivation because I am on my feet at home and at work much more than they are and I don’t like running. (Plus, Harry Potter ^_^ )

Do any other Gen-Xers out there find parenting to be this insane guessing game? I’ve always looked back on my own upbringing and found almost nothing but a negative example from my Boomer parent’s F***-ups. They were a lesson in what NOT to do but I still struggled with what TO do. Yeah, I chose not to punish my kids by hitting them, I chose not to dole out art supplies with an eye dropper, I chose not to force them to subscribe to any particular religion or anything, lots of mistakes of my parents I was able to side step… but not doing things isn’t really much to go on. I read to my kids like crazy, I made loads of art with them, I reasoned with them rather than using punishment, (at least 90% of the time) and I fed them, clothed them, housed them, loved the stuffing out of them. We always had plenty of pets, usually a sane amount like 4 or less but occasionally more, and had the kids help care for them. We didn’t demand high grades, middling were ok, we didn’t send them to a lot of activities… and that’s one thing I would go back and change. I think that was a mistake. We should have had them in activities and lessons more, at least to try way more things out. It’s too late now, maybe we can still do a little of that for our youngest but it’s too late for the older 2.

Why does that make me feel like such a failure? Parenting has been a very seat-of-our-pants affair and our parents were no help at all. We’ve done the best we could, taken our best guesses, but I feel awful for what I didn’t do that I now think might have helped. Even if you read books by so-called experts on parenting they all contradict each other and the general advice changes every few years. What the heck are we supposed to do with all that? So, here I am, trying to help my kids where they are now, basically having to hope that loving them so much all these years will have been enough so that they can still get to the point of Adult Functioning… even if it’s LATE. And still hoping all this won’t kill my beautiful, wonderful marriage to the best guy I’ve ever met.

I’m trying to build myself up to be more hopeful but I live in Bummerville.