Abandonment & Update

Yep, I have practically abandoned this poor little blog. At first I was too busy posting on on my Pathfinder Pictograph blog but lately we haven’t been gaming much and I haven’t been posting there as a direct result.

So, for the past several months I’ve been working, gaming in other games somewhat, and mostly creating art. My scribbles during the Age of Ashes run are fun and all but that has become so infrequent that it just doesn’t bleed off any of my mad urge to create anymore. In my work as a teen librarian I do a fair bit of creating as I try out potential crafts to see if they are something I can run as an outdoor workshop or a take-home craft for the teens. I have so many ideas right now and I doubt many of them will see the light of day as Covid 19 the Delta variant seems to be gaining momentum. *sigh* Take home crafts will likely be the order of the day again before long.

We did get to hold one craft outdoors in person so far, we made little fish out of felt and stuffing and such. It was fun so I got out a zombie kit someone gave me a long time ago. The zombie design was terrible just… awful. So I used the materials from the kit to make something more appealing. A cuter zombie.

The one in the middle is the first felt zombie I designed using the materials from a kit. I then made the one on the right with my own supplies and a little from the kit. Zombie # 3 on the left is a little construction worker zombie I designed and created and from that point on I went hog-wild and created 12 more zombies over the past week or 2. I’ve just been designing and sewing up a storm. I’m having an absolute blast! Each zombie is unique and as I go I have greatly expanded the kinds of feature I can add. I love this so much. I’ve also been keeping a sketchbook, current pages include a fair number of zombie or zombie-related sketches, but I’m having a lot of fun. I store my horde in a little Estee Lauder … bag/case-thing which I think is hilarious. Super fashionable zombie horde transport for the modern necromancer on the go!

Future plans obviously involve a zombie workshop or take-home craft. Yeah. It’s hot and muggy here, well, the temp has dropped to reasonable but the humidity is still murderous. Anyway, I am still alive and keeping busy. Be safe.

Snag

My idea of reopening my shop in March has hit a snag. Well, snagS, to be honest. A lot has been going on in my world.

Ramping up crafty productiveness made me suddenly decide to make my first sweater… I think. I have vague memories of maybe trying before? Eh, likely not terribly successful, or why isn’t my wardrobe chock-a-block with cute sweaters I made? So, I found a tutorial for a super cute sweater I totally want to wear ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oYHF8e8q1hY&list=LL&index=4&t=14s ) and bookmarked it. Then I searched for “super easy beginner sweater tutorial” and landed on this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xl-O8RC_g8. So, I made a sweater. Not just any sweater, MEGA SWEATER. It is huge! I didn’t actually watch much of the tutorial, I used the linked text pattern, if there was a swatch/scale I missed it completely. My sweater is unstoppable.

It’s so huge I couldn’t get it all in one shot.

That ate up basically all my free time for a week. On the plus side it could be layered over the most massive of other sweaters. (Mega Sweater has no equals.) Yeah, so I’m calling it a modest success and a great learning experience. Meanwhile I have moved on to making the next sweater and I did do a swatch and it worked out fine. I’ve finished the front piece and started the back.

Despite my efforts with the swatch it is clearly wider than intended…

There will be some scalloping added in the neckline and I hope to use it to make the sweater more reasonable. If it comes out really wonky I am considering trying again with different yarn and hopefully whatever lessons I learn/knowledge I get from this first try. Crochet is tricky! But I’ve had it with being afraid to try things. Fuck it! Life is not a dress rehearsal.

I also got side tracked making a baby present for my beloved boss. She’s having her first baby like any minute now and I wanted to make something nice as I know she appreciates heartfelt handmade items. I made these adorable stars that were going to be a mobile but ended up being a wall hanging. and it looks like “insert pic into text” is just a well-oiled machine! Anyway, she loves it and already hung it near the crib. I’m glad I went with ‘wall hanging’ because she is making a mobile. Here’s a bigger pic:

These little things are fun and easy to make. Fast too!

So, I still have a couple of weeks, or more if I open later in March, to get things done. I have several pairs of mittens that need liners, (that I still need to make) a basket full of cloth waiting to be made into cloth napkins, a couple of boxes filled with handmade envelopes, and lots of plans to make more mittens in new and exciting colors. I’m just not sure I will get enough done to be ready to actually open. The liners are a big project as are the napkins and our place is currently cluttered all to heck since I haven’t been able to purge things we don’t need for almost a year. I really need to box up major amounts of clothes, books, etc and get them to the thrift shops to find new homes. It’s getting ridiculous. No, I won’t soon be seen in an episode of “Hoarders” but clutter is basically everywhere at this point and no room really looks nice anymore. Yeah. I need to get to work on the clutter even if it has nowhere to go. I need to figure out something to do with it all!

Busy and Grateful

I have to say one thing for the pandemic. Between my caution that severely limits the buildings and stores I will enter and the scalper’s prices a lot of craft items go for online, not to mention shipping charges and the potential for delay, I find myself giving very serious consideration for the supplies I already have. I’ve been making Super Mittens for my girls the past few days and I had to go to my yarn stash to do so. Limited amounts of various colors in the worsted weight category made me decide to use 2 colors per mitten/pair creating the body of each mitten in one color and the cuff in another. The lack of access to all my usual choices forces me to be creative and it is a great stash buster assisting me in using up stray balls of yarn and other supplies that have been hanging around. I’m also getting to projects I’ve been procrastinating on. I finally made the napkins for Harry Potter Xmas.

I also find myself appreciating what we already have more than I used to. I misplaced a pair of mittens in the grocery store on a rare in-person run for a few items, and I felt just awful about it. They are not the best pair of mittens or anything, I made them from a felted wool sweater and lined them with fleece cut from old PJ pants all acquired through thrift shops (over a year ago at least). They hit the magic sweet spot of being cheap, homemade, and recycled all at once. And they’re cute. I left a note with customer service and they called after a few hours. The mittens are safe at home again and I promise you, I will be much more careful with them in the future. Our dog also did some damage to the quilt I had on the bed and I thought the only replacement I had was languishing in the laundry room but I found a third bedspread I had completely forgotten about in the hall closet! And again it is cute. Why do I have so many bedspreads? Oh yeah, in the before time I used to thrift a lot and having pets means needing back ups of such things.

We are so, so lucky. We have so far gotten through this pandemic pretty ok. I mean, there’s definitely increased anxiety and stress, we feel uncertain about the future, worried about getting Covid 19, nervous about what may happen to our jobs, and the kids… All adults now, one in his senior year of HS, not able/willing to work because of scarce jobs & jobs they could get would be risky Covid-wise. Their lives are on hold. The girls are waiting for it to be safe to go job hunting again, for it to be safe to work again. We are a million times lucky that we’ve hung onto our house where there’s room for everyone and that we are still paying our bills, getting food on the table. So far we are still employed as long as that holds true we should be ok. My middlest child hasn’t had any min-painting commissions in a long while, not surprising, but she found a little place for herself online where she can use her creativity to make at least a small amount of money. I’m very proud of her for that and I hope that it boosts her self-esteem.

The bare fact that I can find any positives this year is amazing and speaks to how very fortunate we’ve been. I know people who are doing better than we are and some who are doing worse. It’s a mess out there and we are all hoping big for a much, much, much better year in 2021. I have never wished away a year so hard as this one. But, I have much to do before the new year and only scant few days to do it in. Be well. Stay safe.

Halloween in a Pandemic

So, I’m sorry for going all “Winter holidays” there before enjoying the Fall. Halloween is probably my favorite holiday of all and I shouldn’t short change it like that. How rude! So I’m here to talk about candy, costumes and what’s going on instead of trick-or-treating and in-person parties this year. First, I love this idea for little kids or pretty much anyone:

How fabulous is this? Obviously, I think those with sensitive little ones should play fast & loose with the word “scary.”

Decorate for Halloween, make Halloween themed snacks, and have everyone in your household dress up in costumes. Then mix & match from these ideas:

Take out some Halloween themed books or collections of ghost stories from your local library and have a read-aloud by candlelight or flashlight.
Make a Facebook group and ask friends and family to dress in costume and post pics or do a Zoom gathering to show off costumes and socialize.
Hokey monster movie marathon. (Godzilla and that era or any of the wondrously bad/hilarious sci-fi channel monster movies.
Create and decorate a Halloween Tree. My middle daughter started this when she was 3. We were getting ready for a little Halloween party and she asked; “What about the Halloween Tree?” I was like; “whaaat?” and asked her if she meant the tree with the lights and decorations because that was definitely the Christmas Tree… yep that’s what she meant alright but it was a Halloween Tree and she obviously thought I was suffering from extreme early-onset dementia or something because i was clearly misremembering. SO, I made a Halloween Tree. All you need is some smallish dead branches and something of sufficient weight to hold them up. I used a vase full of stones. Just arrange the branches to look like a dead tree, add some lights and spooky decorations and you’re done. Our first tree had a small string of white lights but you can now buy orange or purple Halloween lights. For decorations We make ghost out of Kleenex and string with faces sharpied on them, and some pumpkins and cats cut out of colored paper. Ours is usually sized to make a great centerpiece.
Bake some Halloween themed sugar cookies, the kind you cut with cookie cutters, and let the kids decorate and eat them. You could make this part of a Facebook group w/without costumes. Have friends and family share their kooky cookies.
Find out what, if anything in these crazy times, your local library is offering for Halloween. I am having a Make-Your-Own Monster event with a randomly drawn prize, and offering take-home crafts of Fall lantern kits, shadow puppet kits, and friendship bracelets. My counterpart in children’s services is offering several take-home kits for the little ones. Some libraries might be having costume contests by having patrons submit photos.
Some radio stations are definitely having costume contests w/submitted photos. One in my area is offering a prize of $100 or $200 on a debit card. (I can’t remember the amount)
Make a round layer cake and decorate it to look like a Jack-o-lantern.
If you and your kids or housemates play tabletop RPGs (Role Playing Games) run a special one-shot Halloween game. The possibilities here are nearly endless and can range from a child-friendly, goofy Scooby Doo vibe all the way to a Creepy, gritty, gorey Walking Dead/horror movie vibe. Call of Cthulhu is my go-to. One shots are perfect for it as player characters generally go insane when exposed to the Mythos anyway.
Create a LARP, if you’re feeling ambitious, and have enough people in your household. LARP stands for Live Action Role Play and it can be a lot of fun. This one takes more prep than any of these other ideas because you need to have a plot, props, maybe an accomplice, etc. The simplest way to do this is to get your hands on a boxed Murder Mystery game that contains all the characters, clues, etc. A few years back I created my own LARP for my youngest when that’s what he wanted to do for Halloween. I had 3 days and no money to spend so it was unpolished to say the least. But it was fun. It involved splitting our group in 2, a scavenger hunt for one group so they could find a book about Halloween that contained clues as to what they had to do, and the other group had to come up with 2 word clues to try and help the first group when they got stuck. The second group had accidentally been pulled into the afterlife and were stuck in a waiting room with a booklet of their own outlining their situation. They also got snacks and hot cocoa. The first group had to find the clues, figure them out, and conduct a ritual to get group 2 back through the veil between worlds. I wrote the booklets and decorated them with woodcuts of skeletons and such from online and set up the afterlife waiting room in our shed.

I have a bit of a headache so that’s all I’ve got for right now. Please feel free to add your awesome ideas in the comments. Or your really dumb ideas, those can be a ton of fun! ^_^

Just a couple of pics I dug up: goofy jack-o-lantern idea and one of our Halloween Tree centerpieces.

Dream of a Colorful Life

Cooler weather means baking and more cooking in general. I made chocolate chip coffee cake muffins for breakfast this morning. Muffins for motivation! The boy needs to start getting the computers processed for his dad this morning. My poor husband, he just cannot do it all, there is too much. Thankfully the school agreed to pay our lad to clean them up and process them through. Gives the boy something to do, some structure for his days for a while , and gives him the boost of earning some money. I think I will make the weird bean soup for lunch again. I made it last week and it was a hit so maybe it will be again.

Yesterday I got a fair bit accomplished despite spending the day waiting for the doctor to call which they never did. I did a ton of cooking and prep, did laundry, dishes, got the groceries and such, cleaned the yard and told the lad that I am bloody tired of cleaning up dog droppings in all the places I have repeatedly told him Not to walk her. Basically, anywhere we are likely to walk is not a great spot, especially as we walk in our own yard in the dark sometimes. I picked and dried a ton of roses, made rose powder which is basically dry, pink food coloring with a sweet, floral flavor. I’m hoping for a big crop of mint too, but we’ll see.

Been trying to bolster my husband’s morale. Trying to get him to see that, in my opinion, he doesn’t have to be trapped by his job. He can embrace the idea of “fuck it” and go for what he wants. I know he’s right that we need insurance and that we wouldn’t last long without him having a steady income, I know, it’s 100% practical. But, he shouldn’t hate his life, you know? I’m not saying he just yell; “I QUIT!” and storm off, fun as that would be, I’m saying work on a real escape plan. He’s applying to places and that’s awesome, but if we drop one of our games he could use that time to work on a creative project that could be an outlet for him, that might or might not become anything in the future… but it might, and he will never know if he doesn’t try. What if he kept this job and was able to make a little money on a side project? What if that side project lead to another and another? Even if completely breaking free of regular work doesn’t happen, being able to make some money at fulfilling, creative work would shift the dynamic for him. He might feel freer to pursue a job with less hours, for less pay, maybe we could still get employer insurance until the broken health system gets fixed.

Even though it’s probably a silly dream, I think about us living a smaller, more flexible life. What if we could get our expenses down and our savings up to the point where we could live on a very small income? What if I could sell paintings and handicrafts, work at the library part time. Maybe he could work part time sell some of his creative projects? What if we could grow a lot of our own food? I know there would be a lot to think about, I get how impractical I am. But if we just stay on the well-worn path… where the hell does that get us? I’m tired of being fenced in, stifled, trapped on a crazy hamster wheel of boredom and frustration. I think my husband is WAY more tired of it than I am, I think I’m more tired of watching him deal with it. The craziness of modern life, the hurry, hurry, hurry, the full to bursting schedules, the lack of community, it’s all awful and soul-deadening. There is a way, or there are a million ways, to break free and I am going to find one that works for us.

Reality bites, so I will create a new one. It will be more beautiful and creative and fulfilling. A life worth living, where we make memories and have experiences worth talking about. I want us to both have the time and freedom to learn new skills as we want and need to. I want my sweet, hardworking husband to have enough free time that he isn’t paralyzed by choice anymore. He was working full-time (40-60 hours/week) while going to school 1/2-time (10-20 hours of work/week) for over 6 years. During that time he lost the ability to … know what he wants to do at any given time. He had so little time to call his own, he never made a choice, he’d end up scrolling FB, staring at TV or spending hours on a video game only to regret it later. I think any of those things has their place but he was falling into them by default and feeling like he wasted what little time he had. When school ended he was unable to figure out what to do with his free time for quite a while. We eventually settled into tabletop gaming, a little reading and such, but these are sort of default settings for us. With the extra workload the pandemic has forced on him he’s overwhelmed again. I just want him to have the ability to relax, unwind, let go of the stress and do something that makes him happy. I’d love it if he could be rewarded, get that insane morale boost of having his creativity valued by others.

Good Things in November

I’ve been working my ass off lately. Getting a lot done, learning new skills, trying to get things to go smoothly around here. All while not feeling terrific but who feels terrific these days? Anyone? Well, not me. Anyway, I wanted to share some of the things I’ve been doing/learning, so here goes.

This is kindling I gathered up around the yard and broke into useable pieces.

I’m trying to avoid paying for at least some of the kindling and fire wood we’ll need to get through the winter by taking advantage of the dead wood that drops off the oaks around our house. I had to buy a saw because the only one we had was rusted to oblivion.

Part of a large branch that fell in our yard that I sawed into logs using my own human muscles and a hand saw. ^_^

Our farm share was as abundant this year as it always is and I am trying not to let it go to waste as much as that is possible. Having things like beets already cooked and ready to heat up helps. I’ve also been trying to use the already running wood stove to cook as much as I can to help keep the electric bill down.

Beets from our farm share cooking on the wood stove.

I’m teaching myself “creative mending” techniques.

My friend’s washing machine mangled her new work fleece that she has to wear and she asked me disguise the worst of it with decorations. I was also able to reinforce it from the inside and hide that obvious divot better.

I’m also learning to make upcycled sweater mittens. I made these with a felted lambswool sweater and used a pair of fleece pajama pants to line them.

I’ve been drying herbs, peppers, and other things to use over the winter, some from our farm share, some bought hella cheap, some grown right here at home. I grew the mint! Don’t laugh too hard, I am a blight druid who loves plants and desperately wants to be a regular druid. Being able to not kill mint is a milestone.

I feel like I’m starting to figure out who I want to be or at least some of what I want to be. I want to be more self-sufficient, more skilled at things that help, that matter, more content with what I have and able to create more of what I, and we, need to be well, to be happy, to be comfortable. I’m finding that I enjoy being productive when it’s for a purpose, I like working hard when it matters, like getting the wood into the shed before it snows, using the remains of our chicken dinner to make broth I can use in my potato-leek soup, or taking a ruined sweater and using a fair bit of it to make something useful instead of just landfilling the whole thing. I don’t feel well, but I do feel good, satisfied that I am making progress toward something worthwhile, and that ain’t nothing.

Creating Space

I’ve finished 15 paintings in 3 days. I am feeling much less stressed than I was. I know that will wear off if I stop creating but it feels great right now.

While I haven’t painted much in a long time, I have been crafting right along, crochet, knitting, sewing, DIY Harry Potter stuff and so on, and there is just no space for me to create in. All the painting I’m doing? I’m doing it in my kitchen, I pretty much stole the kid’s study spot which everyone is about to need again. I also had to stop sewing because there is no place I can set up my machine since my eldest moved home. Most of my supplies are crammed inaccessibly in bins in closets right now too. So I’ve been dreaming of a space of my own, cruising ads for used RVs, looking at new sheds, etc. We have a shed, half of which is full of crap we don’t need, so why not use that?

It needs work. After deciding even used RVs are way too expensive, and after looking at new sheds and the extra windows I’d want and all that, I went out an looked at the old shed again. It’s filthy, but I know how to clean, I can pull out all the nails someone pounded in, it needs new windows, some flooring, insulation, interior walls etc etc. Anyway, I emailed the person who does all our handy-work to see if she’ll give me an estimate. I might have to get it done in stages or something, but the space could definitely work. Get rid of the junk, pull the nails, scrub it up a bit and then Anita can work her magic and I will have a studio. I could have my own studio. With a little loft to read and nap in. (Hopefully) That’s the dream!

To get what I want new would be around $6,000… way out of the budget. I’m afraid to get the quote from Anita but it will have to lower, right? Further updates as event warrant.

A Good Day

A day that begins, ends, or middles with me spattered with paint is a good day. I’m not saying I’m any good but I love to paint. Painting calms me, smooths out my jagged edges, orders my mind and my moods. I feel deeply peaceful when I manage to get some painting into my day.

I’m spattered with paint right now. It feels wonderful and strange because I haven’t been able to paint much for some time, years. Last winter I made a painting of Hogwarts more or less as a decoration for Christmas because I put together a Harry Potter Christmas each year now. The year before I did one of the Forbidden Forest. My friends and family like them but I think of them more as props or decorations than art. Maybe that’s silly of me I don’t know. Anyway, today I made 5 paintings that are not decorations, that mean something to me. They range from a little abstract to completely abstract.

My usual is pretty representational impressionism so these are a departure for me. My son inspired me. He makes the wildest stuff. Not always abstract but he uses bold, dream-like imagery, often disjointed. It’s eye-catching work and the artist in me thinks some of it is quite good. The mom part of me thinks it’s all fantastic. So, I took something of a page from his book and all of a sudden I can paint again, no more artist’s block or white canvas paralysis, paint made it onto canvas. I’m sure they’re rubbish but it still feels good.

Tomorrow I’ll be making Harry Potter wands with the teens and tweens. The mug workshop went really well so I’m hopeful this one will too. The kids did some good work and I hope they went home and baked them so their designs will last a long, long time. I still haven’t made a test wand for tomorrow, I hope that doesn’t sink me entirely. Procrastination is all on me but I’m tired and I’ve had very little extra energy for a long time now so I’m going to let it go. I will need to make sure I work all the bogs out of the monster book craft before Saturday though, that is non-optional. I feel insanely lucky that my job involves so much creativity and that I have so much control over that creativity. I can’t say I’m used to it yet, or feel I should be left unsupervised, but I love it.