Events, Food, Etc.

Bad news: I’m ill. Good news: I finished the house scarves for Saturday’s Harry Potter party at the Library. ^_^ I’m really looking forward to it. The Festivities:

Watching Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone
Drinking home-made Butterbeer
Doing word-jumbles, word-searches, and Crossword puzzles
4 teens winning a house scarf by random drawing!
Happy Holidays, Teens! ^_^

My ornament workshop was cancelled due to snow so it’s the only thing on this month, pretty much.

In other news I stumbled across a book and then 3 videos by my high school art teacher. I was just browsing the gardening section and found her book on foraging and wild foods. I checked to see if there was anything else by her and found we had 3 videos in our library! It’s lovely watching her after so many years and her recipes look delicious so I will be trying them out in the Spring. I took a class on wild foods a few years ago but these videos seem more comprehensive and being able to watch the foods being harvested and processed it helpful too.

We got our latest credit card bill and it is, as is somewhat usual this time of year, High. Ugh. It’s so hard to stick to a budget when buying gift for people I love. I want to do so much and sometimes I do too much. So I am now clamping down on spending to make up for this extravagance. I only have a couple more things to get and holiday shopping will be done. That leaves the feast shopping and some of that has been done already so we should be good. When I clamp down on spending I rely on my pantry more than usual. I lean on my supplies of pasta, rice, and dried beans etc. I cut back on using meat and focus on using up winter squashes and whatever else is on hand. I recently found that I can make a killer mac & cheese with about 1/2 the cheese by adding in mashed winter squash. My husband LOVED it. I added a few new spices to it too. My son wasn’t as big a fan of it but he needs to eat more veg anyway… and he did eat it. I’ll dig down in the freezer too and use any meat we have on hand. Casseroles will make more of an appearance too as I go through all the frozen veg, pasta and so on.

I’ve been working on not wasting food anyway. It’s such a problem and it’s ridiculous with the prices we pay for the stuff that any should be wasted. I’m thinking of putting together a big entry on eliminating food waste sometime soon.

Killing Stress with New Skills

Life is hard. It just is. So fucking hard. My house is like some kind of stress factory and I spend so much time doing emotional work for others that I am tired All The Time. Things tend to feel stagnant, like no progress is being made, especially re. the kids. Eldest is still working part time for minimum wage although her hours are up because of holiday busyness. Youngest is in 11th grade and muddling along doing as little as he can get away with doing but he is finding some joy there, some interest, the future remains a Giant Ball of Dread to him though. Middlest is going along at community college with a 3/4 schedule + work-study. She’s seen one paycheck so far and it covered less than 1/10th of he tuition, books and art supplies, hopefully there will be a flurry of checks SOON. Husband is in his last semester for his latest degree and is fully stressing out. He has 8 days to write a 25 page paper and he has a few paragraphs so far. I think panic is about to set in. His job is also driving him full-on Crazy right now with a huge and scary server migration + the replacement of all copiers and printers etc etc. He’s supposed to be focusing on these VERY IMPORTANT trainings on the new server stuff so he can, you know, DO his job, but gets interrupted every 1-2 minutes by people with piddly little problems they want fixed “now.” His assistant is trying very hard to keep people away from him but he’s still getting over 25 emails per hour all day long.

Yeah, so stressful is the word. Slow progress for kids, too much on husband’s plate, we’re all border-lining on illness most of the time now. My headaches are getting worse, I assume it’s stress. I am trying to make home a sanctuary from all the madness by continuing to declutter, getting nice meals on the table daily, keeping healthy snacks on hand as well as cocoa, wine and beer, and of course I am always cleaning, keeping the fire going and so on. I’m finding my peace in learning new skills and trying new things. I watch Li Ziqi on YouTube because everything she does is both relaxing to watch and completely inspiring. I’ll be watching while I knit and my husband will glance up to see her using hand tools to just flat out make something out of trees she cut down or something and he’ll ask: “what’s she making? I seriously wouldn’t be surprised if it turned out to be a working helicopter made from scrap metal and bamboo.” All I can say is; “Right????” Some of her stuff has no English translation to it at all so I watch the whole video completely confused by what veggies she’s cooking but in the end I want to eat it all, anyway even with all my allergies, because her cooking looks so amazing I swear I can almost smell it. Here’s a link to her channel if you’re interested: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCoC47do520os_4DBMEFGg4A

So, new skills I’ve been working on:

Learning to dry fruits and veggies. So far: oranges, apples, cranberries and hot peppers.
Darning socks, I haven’t got this figured out yet, it doesn’t look all that hard but it turns out to be tricky.
Making my own lip-balm. SO EASY! Plus I get custom flavors and simple ingredients.
Making my own laundry detergent, yeah, I’m doing this right now as I type. I’ve got baking soda cooking away at 400 degrees to turn it into washing soda and then I grate up some soap, mix everything together with Borax and apparently That’s IT.

There are loads of skills I want to learn that will keep me busy… probably the rest of my life if I’m honest. I want to learn to garden, to grow my own food and herbs, I want to learn to make clothes that look good, presentable, tailored I guess, that are well-made and will last. I want to learn to build things, whatever I need really, like shelves, or raised garden beds, or wooden furniture. I want to learn languages, so many, so, so many, I can’t even choose where to start. I also like to learn to make pretty much all household cleaners and such-like things. It’s stunning how much we pay for stuff like that and it’s made out of pretty simple stuff for the most part. I’m sure I’ll let you know how my experiments go.

Snow Day!

By happy surprise my kids and I have all been granted the day off due to the weather. We got up and shoveled, they will rake the porch roof and kitchen roof later and re-shovel the walkways for me. It’s been a fine day so far, the snow is beautiful, the wood stove is humming along, and we are warm and snug inside for now. My Sweet husband had to go into work because his bosses never see fit, even under perfect circumstances to do so, to call a snow day. If he was home life would be ideal today.

I am letting dough rise now for bread later on and I’m currently simmering simple syrup to reduce it by 1/2 so I can make dried, sweetened cranberries. My sourdough starter is still alive and yummy and I am shocked to my core over it. I haven’t had much luck with it in the past but this time seems to be going well. Tonight, since I’ll be home to cook, I’ll be making Swedish meatballs and mashed potatoes. Nice hearty fare for cold weather and the hard work of shoveling

So, it’s later now, I’ve been busy all day, been sticky and covered in flour, been out in the snow a little bit too. Dinner was yummy. Sourdough bread warm from the oven, Swedish meatballs, mashed potatoes, and a bit of beer. ^_^

Possibly the nicest looking loaves I’ve ever made.

The cranberries have been in and out of the oven all day as I used it to cook other things. They spent some time atop the wood stove too, we’ll see how they come out, they have hours to go yet. The snow continues to fall and will until around 4 am. My eldest is at work and will have to drive home in it on roads that are cooling and freezing as I type. I worry so much. (Be safe my little dove.)

We’ve got over a foot of snow so far and it is still falling.

Be safe, Everyone!

Holidays are Coming

2 days till Thanksgiving. 2 days until we are launched into the holiday season. I have a lot to do, of course, but I think it’s manageable. I’ll do some cooking and prep the night before and Thanksgiving day I’ll tackle the major cooking. I actually like it, spending the day in the kitchen with my son watching and rewatching Gordon’s video and telling me what to do next. I hate how fast dinner is over and all the cleaning but it’s still a nice day.

I’m almost done with the Yule/Xmas shopping. Just a few things to get and I can start wrapping and crafting. I’ll be making butterbeer lip balm and a few other things for stocking stuffers, no big projects on my radar so far. I just have to finish the Ravenclaw scarf and tassel the lot and I’ll be done crafting for the Harry Potter party at the library. I guess I still need to buy cream soda and all that for the butterbeer but that won’t take long. Easy. Doing some checking around for the last few items on my list today I found a CD of instrumental xmas music that is pretty cool. It’s super mellow and relaxing, I’m listening right now. https://www.awintersolstice.com/blank-q3t56 Here’s the album on YouTube in case any of you want to hear it: https://youtu.be/NCSAYm8QrRQ

I’ve been checking around for activities for the upcoming holiday season and there is a fair bit going on. There are some concerts, fairs, plays, etc that I hope to get to. I’ll miss some things due to work but the rest I just need to scrape myself up and GET TO.

Anniversary and Doing Stuff

Yesterday marked 17 years since our lovely little wedding. We went out to a decent restaurant, it wasn’t stellar, onion soup was so-so, dinner was good, appetizers and bread course oddly came with 3 little bits of baguette each, awkward for sharing between 2 people, would 4 pieces really be so insane? Wine was good and reasonable, garlic mashed potato was good. Where the place saved itself was in the service and accommodation of my million allergies and, Man, they NAILED the dessert! Dark Belgian chocolate-covered, vanilla custard-filled cream puff. Absolutely perfect. The service was wonderful. We also went to a cool kitchen store and picked up some better equipment that will make all our projects easier. Yay, Apple-Corer!!!

Today we got up and went to get groceries for Thanksgiving, more groceries, after reviewing the video of how to make the turkey. We got home and my sweet husband scraped the sludgey snow off the driveway while I put groceries away. Since then we’ve been cooking. He is making the toffee apple pie he just learned how to make, I am attempting to make sourdough bread, and using all the peels and cores he had left over to make apple peel tea. I am also experimenting with drying orange slices on the wood stove since drying apples worked so well.

The next experiment might be drying orange slices on a string.

I’m not sure what it’s supposed to look like but….

Spending so much time together this weekend has been great. I’m often alone in the kitchen and today has not been like that. My sweet husband is making an amazing pie and we’re helping each other with little things as we go along and he’s playing xmas music for me. Until this year he sort of banned xmas music before Thanksgiving. I mean, yeah, I’d listen to it when he wasn’t around but this year he’s suddenly on board with it. It’s really sweet! ^_^ I love this guy.

Day by Day

One foot in front of the other, day by day, slow progress is made. The dried apple slices made on the wood stove dried faster than in the oven and came out better as well. Good information! I will try drying orange slices atop the wood stove next. ^_^ This morning I have put together the beginning of some sourdough starter… hopefully. It seems this can fail so we’ll see how it goes.

Today the carpenter and handy person are supposed to come put in the steps to my loft in my soon-to-be studio, move the ceiling hook for my candle/chandelier-thing, and do a little trim work. This is the last of what I can afford to have done now, probably until Spring. I hope the space will be usable this winter because I am getting anxious and need to create. I’ve been waiting my whole life for this space, I didn’t know it, but I have been. I may try to put up insulation myself. My son swears you can learn anything on YouTube and I’ve used it to learn things before so he’s probably right.

I’m exhausted. My sleep is still disturbed by my sweet husband’s snoring, the cats, my anxiety, etc. I start my days with a to-do list that frequently gets derailed by someone else’s need for emotional work. That’s mostly ok, I mean, I want to help those I care about, Obviously, it’s just draining and largely unacknowledged, invisible. Yesterday I think it was texting with my husband about work/stress/career-change/happiness/contentment/etc. for over an hour. Often it’s talking him down from a bout of “I’m a bad dad”… which he absolutely is NOT. Sometimes it’s a long, mid-night session of listening to one of my kid’s heartache and pain while offering love and acceptance, telling them they are NOT an alien for having their feelings, etc. Sometimes my husband needs to be talked around about how he hasn’t “wasted” the past 6 years getting a couple of degrees, how that has value no matter what he chooses to do next. I’m glad I’m available to do all this, they need it, I can do it, that’s good! The not so good part is that it takes time, effort, emotional energy, and then I’m behind. I lose productive hours of daylight, I lose needed hours of sleep, I lose focus on planning things I’m in charge of like “What’s for dinner tonight?” … … … oh yeah, dinner, oops. But on the whole I’m glad I’m here to do it and I am positive my husband does some emotional work for me sometimes.

Tomorrow is our 17th wedding anniversary. We’ve been together over 22 years now. How mad is that? It doesn’t seem like it could be that long ago, that lovely wedding on that cold, gray day, 17 years? I think we’ll go out to dinner. I’ll still need to make sure there is something on deck for the kids, I think we’re out of those chicken patty things they tend to rely on when I don’t cook. Still, I’ll probably just throw rice in the cooker and tell them to cook some kielbasa, then I’ll shower, put on a pretty dress, some perfume, and head out to one of our favorite places or maybe we’ll try a new place.

Good Things in November

I’ve been working my ass off lately. Getting a lot done, learning new skills, trying to get things to go smoothly around here. All while not feeling terrific but who feels terrific these days? Anyone? Well, not me. Anyway, I wanted to share some of the things I’ve been doing/learning, so here goes.

This is kindling I gathered up around the yard and broke into useable pieces.

I’m trying to avoid paying for at least some of the kindling and fire wood we’ll need to get through the winter by taking advantage of the dead wood that drops off the oaks around our house. I had to buy a saw because the only one we had was rusted to oblivion.

Part of a large branch that fell in our yard that I sawed into logs using my own human muscles and a hand saw. ^_^

Our farm share was as abundant this year as it always is and I am trying not to let it go to waste as much as that is possible. Having things like beets already cooked and ready to heat up helps. I’ve also been trying to use the already running wood stove to cook as much as I can to help keep the electric bill down.

Beets from our farm share cooking on the wood stove.

I’m teaching myself “creative mending” techniques.

My friend’s washing machine mangled her new work fleece that she has to wear and she asked me disguise the worst of it with decorations. I was also able to reinforce it from the inside and hide that obvious divot better.

I’m also learning to make upcycled sweater mittens. I made these with a felted lambswool sweater and used a pair of fleece pajama pants to line them.

I’ve been drying herbs, peppers, and other things to use over the winter, some from our farm share, some bought hella cheap, some grown right here at home. I grew the mint! Don’t laugh too hard, I am a blight druid who loves plants and desperately wants to be a regular druid. Being able to not kill mint is a milestone.

I feel like I’m starting to figure out who I want to be or at least some of what I want to be. I want to be more self-sufficient, more skilled at things that help, that matter, more content with what I have and able to create more of what I, and we, need to be well, to be happy, to be comfortable. I’m finding that I enjoy being productive when it’s for a purpose, I like working hard when it matters, like getting the wood into the shed before it snows, using the remains of our chicken dinner to make broth I can use in my potato-leek soup, or taking a ruined sweater and using a fair bit of it to make something useful instead of just landfilling the whole thing. I don’t feel well, but I do feel good, satisfied that I am making progress toward something worthwhile, and that ain’t nothing.

This is the first day that really counts as me no longer working 2 jobs. Normally I’d be going in to work soon and today I think I am going to miss the air conditioning. Saturday is also supposed to be a scorcher and I would have been working through the worst of it. I really hope the universe isn’t trying to tell me something…. Even if it is, I made this decision for important reasons.

I’ve been decluttering and cleaning, again, also spent some time watching these kooky videos with my son. I think the series is called “Tier Zoo” or something like that. It’s fascinating and sometimes hilarious. It treats the world as if it were a game and different organisms as character builds. It’s pretty entertaining.

OMG I think I am 3/4 melted in this heat and humidity. I feel so gross. I think I’ll have a cool shower before dinner, maybe one after dinner, definitely rinse off before bed… I’m starting to see the appeal of having a swimming pool despite the expense and the work involved. I’m making some kind of pasta-y broccoli/chicken casserole and a salad. I haven’t made the salad yet but the casserole is ready to bake. Please hold all applause, ha ha.

I’ve cleaned up a lot of random stuff in the bedroom, I’m still probably only about 10% done in there. So much to do. I need to cull my clothes again, and books, and general stuff. The kitchen might be done though. I cleared out a cupboard today and found 4 partial bags of semi-fossilized marshmallows and a bag of fat little biscuits that super weirdly had NOT gotten moldy. They must have been in there a year. Those are some DRY biscuits! I’m so bad at this. I mean, I’m really good at helping other people declutter, walking them through the “do you want to keep this item? Donate it? or is trash?” process until they can handle it on their own, but I have a hard time actually doing it on the scale my stuff requires that I do. I am making progress, I know that, it just feels so slow. I’m going to call my progress “glacial” so I can think about glaciers, big, beautiful chunks of ICE, so cold, so nice. I miss winter so much.

So, I need to get organized and break down my larger goals into smaller pieces. I want to declutter our whole house, yeah, of course, but should I take it room by room instead of doing whatever strikes my fancy on a given day? Would that help? So far I have been donating as I go which is an improvement over the past. Normally there would be boxes and bags of stuff lingering around the house, then lingering in the trunk of my car, and finally, months later, getting donated somewhere. Maybe I deserve a little credit for that kind of progress? Maybe, but there is so much stuff in here it’s crazy. No, there aren’t paths through some mad hoard, but there are a few rooms where it gets close to that bad sometimes. I’m working on it!

Can I ask you guys a question? (ok anther question) How many of you, who are parents, have wanted to or tried to start a family game night? I’ve tried a bunch of times and I think the failure comes down to, well, ME. I’m so tired after dinner I think I take no for an answer too readily. I feel like I don’t have much left to give by the time dinner is over and I don’t want to delve into the more complicated and entertaining games that might entice my family to actually play. Also, my attempts are short lived, I might try for a week or 2 but I tend to drop it after that. From what I’ve read about working with young adults, and from working with young adults professionally, I know that the formula for success is to just keep at it. Like this summer I’m showing movies on Fridays. Only my family came the first week, the second there was one extra young man, the third there were 4 people who attempted to stay, hopefully this week will be better. But they say in YA if you planned 8 workshops and no one comes to the 1st 7, run the 8th anyway. It takes time for teens to decide they want to do something, it takes time for them to trust that the offer is really sincere. I think I need to just apply that at home.